" i love when my cat pushes launch the privy door the same way a cowherd would bust launch the room access to a saloon"—@xanabon

The Olympics are officially over, and all the patriotism has completely drained out of my body.

heavily to go back to regular tv after two workweek of the olympics . " ooo seem at me i ’m a prestige hbo show " you do n’t even establish one single feat of military strength and agility for your country

But you know what hasn’t? Laughing at the funniest tweets by women this week:

( ensure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter ! )

1.

I love when a period get just on time , as expected . Very demure , very mindful , very cutesy !

2.

I bed being a woman in male dominated fields ( commitment issue ) ( avoidant ) ( frequent sayer of “ why do u turn everything into a large heap . relax ” )

3.

when my haircloth looks like shit please keep in mind that ’s happening in a feminist way

4.

I do n’t have an inner child . I have an inner old person that get wild at garish noises and makes decisions base on the availability of food and a comfortable place to pose down .

5.

autumn people are so annoying . there ’s still peck of summertime left . your Cucurbita pepo ass has to look

6.

ever since i was a little fille i knew i want to stun in new photo

7.

I ’m really rawdogging this writing diddly . No Master of Fine Arts , no federal agent , no connection . just my notes app , genial illness , and a ambition

8.

i love when my cat pushes launch the bathroom door the same means a cowpoke would bust give the doors to a saloon

9.

No one : burglar in the sims : pic.twitter.com / KedSmjXR6p

10.

what happened last night nutritionally can never bump again

11.

The person who decide that Microsoft Office would be a subscription is going to such a deep part of nether region that the ogre only yells down there .

12.

Got stuck in a long line at the store but at least I got to hear the guy behind me severalise his friend all about his butt escaping and coming back significant

13.

i get so offended when guys with girlfriend flirt with me . like side chick ? ? ? I ’m giving side skirt vibes ? ? ?

14.

I go for this email finds you , Carmen Sandiego

15.

therapy is n’t enough I take to see Imane Khelif win 100 case against transphobes

16.

Ca n’t believe some mass corrupt 6 plurality of energy drinks . You ca n’t plan to drink that Irish bull , it should be a bad impulse decision at the gas post

17.

I prefer my mornings to be slow & quiet . I want my day to coquette me a bit before it attempt to fuck me

18.

when you ’re single you have to get like 37,000 steps on a Sunday to replace the flavour of love

19.

delawarehttps://t.co/TjbQ3zy9Rq

20.

when i was a small child i did nt realize most of adulthood is place on a dazed outfit and hold up to the store and hoping you do nt run into anyone you love

21.

the rugrats on the flight home : https://t.co/3UVf3iBCwj

22.

i would n’t be single if some of you men learn the way gomez addams treats a woman .

23.

you see how i exited your life softly ? very demure very cute very aware

24.

petition to add fitted sheet folding to the Olympic Games .

25.

hate when u go for ice cream with someone and they get a healthy savor . like bish i recollect we were get oreo fudge cholesterin moose trail

26.

“ idk i ’ll see ” = not come , never was coming , never even considered it

27.

I ’ve seen the bully thinker of my generation ruin by clean swain

28.

unfortunately i text all my friends like i ’m their desperate ex . hey i drop you . i thought about you while we were n’t talking . what are you up to . can we spend fourth dimension together soon .

29.

i ’m not drop any money decent now unless it ’s an hand brake , like if the culver ’s tang of the day is really good

Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:

24 Funny Tweets By woman That Made Me , A Fellow Woman , Laugh So Hard I cast A Single bout