" My viewpoint is : It is one meal only , on our sidereal day , where I ’m sure it will be delicious whatever they ’re attend . "
Is choosing to not serve meat at your own wedding equal to forcing your lifestyle on others? Apparently this bride-to-be’s family thinks so, and the debate this issue has sparked on theAITA subredditis something else.
UserSwimmingFew6861has been left questioning what to do for her wedding menu after being criticized by her parents (who are footing the bill) for wanting to serve a vegetarian meal. Here’s thestory:
“My fiancé and I (both 30s) are getting married in a couple of months. We now need to finalize our menu choices for our guests. Now, we are vegetarian.”
" In worldwide , we are pretty relaxed vegetarians . If we go out , we altogether do n’t bear in mind if our friends / family line choose inwardness or fish to eat , same if we call family . As long as there is a vegetable option , then great . "
“Now back to the wedding. On looking at the choices, and given it’s our day, we thought it would be nice to have a fully vegetarian menu. My (32, female) parents are paying for the meal and have been absolutely stunned by this choice.”
" They say it ’s disrespectful to mass who are n’t in the vegetarian polish , and also disrespectful to our own economic value in terms of check our friends have a decent time . They say it ’s forcing our value-system on other people . "
“My viewpoint is: It is one meal only, on our day, where I’m sure it will be delicious whatever they’re served. None of our friends have ever complained when coming to our house for (vegetarian) food, but my parents say it’s different at a wedding because people ‘expect luxury food,’ especially if they are traveling from abroad (many are), and apparently this needs to include meat.”
“I am honestly Natalie Imbruglia-d (torn) on this. Personally I don’t mind that much if our guests eat meat, but it is inconsistent with our own life choices, and it is our day, so that could make it feel inauthentic. And I think the whole focus-on-meat thing is quite generational (my parents are in their 60s).”
“Not the asshole. Omnivores have all eaten plenty of vegetarian and even vegan meals without intending to. Had a bowl of cereal for breakfast? Bam — vegetarian meal,” Reddit userowls_and_cardinalssaid. “It does not seem like it’s pushing anything on anyone, anymore than ANY other food choice would be. If you offered chicken, would you be ‘pushing chicken on to people?'” they added.
" This is being overly politicise and overly blow up by the people around you . It ’s not even really a ' polish ' is it ? It ’s just a dietetic drill / orientation ? Your parents may decide not to pay for the repast and that ’s their prerogative ( though I ’d consider it kind of shitty to withdraw financial support over this option ) . But it ’s your day , and this is a very reasonable choice to make . This way , you’re able to try on or sample all the food on the menu and not be keep out from your own celebration , " they reason .
Another user,floridianoutofwater, agreed the bride was not the asshole, but pointed out a potential issue with vegetarian meals is that they may be a tricky option for guests that have food allergies or sensitivities.
" I would be mindful of letting citizenry know what the option or choice may be . It ’s one thing to have steak / chicken / Pisces with sides , where part of the repast may be inedible by a guest due to allergies ( and easily provide off by the caterer or keep off if buffet ) , but another to serve up a beautiful vegetarian dish , which I find tend to have more of a portmanteau word of ingredients as the ' chief ' part of the dish , or an allergen more ' hidden ' in the formula than steak with white potato and broccolini for example , " they sound out .
Meanwhile, others disagreed and pointed out that the role of the parents in a wedding is not merely a generational thing, but can be a cultural one as well.
" This is a tricky question , because of ethnical expectations and nuance,“busyshrewsaid .
" You mention a luck of household coming from overseas . This is a BIG expense and hassle for many of them , and if they make out your parents are pay for the meal , they may very well guess your parent for being bad host . And then it ’s your mammy and dad that get the flack . Not you . And that ’s kinda not bonnie , " they continued .
" Normally , if a Saint Bridget and groom are hosting their own hymeneals and most multitude are local ( i.e. North American ) , then I would say not the whoreson and go in the lead . As you say , it ’s one repast , and vegetarian food is delicious , too . BUT , if you are layering different ethnic traditions and norms on top , plus the fact that your parent are paying for part of your wedding , then I would gently suggest that you view compromise . You bring up that you are easygoing about your vegetarianism , so why make this a pitcher’s mound to die on ? " they added .
" If you really want to have everything on the button your way , then give for the entire nuptials yourself , and that style your parents ca n’t be blamed , " they advised .
Others felt it was more important to be gracious hosts and considerate of their guests’ preferences.
" Frankly I was on the original poster ’s side until the part about have Edgar Albert Guest flying from overseas which is n’t cheap,“graceful_mangosaid .
" Yeah , the marriage ceremony is ' about the two of you , ' and it is ' just one meal on one twenty-four hour period , ' but it should also be about being gracious to home and ally that you want to be a part of your unexampled life together , " they add .
" If potential , see if you may get your parents on gameboard with finding a nuptials caterer who attempt to find sustainable meats or work with farm that are more ethical . Or something that can feel more aligned with your value while still provide a good family experience , " they advised .
“You would be the asshole,“MrDunworthy93said. “Think of it this way: What do you expect, as a vegetarian, when you go to a carnivore’s wedding? A vegetarian option.”
" If they know you ’re vegetarian and do n’t allow one , leaving you to eat carrot reefer and patty , you ’re upset . Same goes for your nuptials . Be the host you expect everyone else in your life to be ! Provide a carnivore option , or at least Pisces , and you are play by the same rules you anticipate everyone else to act as by . "
