I ’m ready to go through a third portion of dramatic play .
If you spend any time at all on the internet these days, you’re familiar with the “Am I The Asshole” subreddit, where people describe how they handled a situation and ask others if they were an asshole. Recently, a parent went viral after sharing an argument they had with their family about their teenage daughter’s food consumption.
This story starts off pretty normally, and the parent,u/doglover233520even compliments their sister’s cooking. Theysaid in their post, “Yesterday, my sister hosted a family dinner at her house. It was one of those ‘just because’ dinners, no special occasion. My sister is a great cook, and she made tons of food for that one night.”
But then, the evening took a turn. “My daughter was on her second plate by the end of the night. Once she finished she asked if she could get another one. But my sister (her aunt) looked at her with a shocked expression and said, ‘Another plate?’ My daughter turned around and gave me a somewhat uncomfortable look.”
At this point, the parent was a bit taken aback. “I turned to my sister and said, ‘She’s been working all day without anything to eat. You made tons of food; it won’t hurt for her to get another plate.’ My sister started yelling about how it wasn’t my place to say if my daughter could get more of the food that she made.”
“My daughter ended up not getting another plate, and the vibe was awkward, so we just decided to go. Before we left, my sister stopped me and told me I should’ve taught my daughter manners and how it isn’t right to get more than one plate at someone else’s house.”
“I started getting fed up when they told me I wasn’t teaching her proper manners, so I left. Then, of course, they began texting my phone, saying it was rude to leave in the middle of our conversation. I don’t think I was the a-hole for leaving because I wasn’t going to stay in a place where I felt disrespected. But I’m not sure about the plate thing. So, am I the a-hole for assuming my daughter could get another plate?”
UserSea_Estate8909thought the parent was in the right. They said, “Your sister has some anger issues, and you were right to leave. I probably would have left the second that she said something to my kid. I would get some distance and let her cool off. Maybe she was just having a crazy bad day or something.”
Others likeu/IntrovertedGiraffewere surprised that anyone wouldn’t graciously host their own family members for dinner.
" Definitely not the son of a bitch - my mum loves to host ( and , in her words , ' cook for an army ) . ' To her , having people go back for seconds and third , even fourths or more , is the ultimate compliment . We had my cousins ’ teenagers bring down for a few weeks , and she was so glad when they would get up from the table to fulfil another shell . I catch her grinning on picture at one point and sent it to my cousin as proof that get her Son here was not an imposition whatsoever because it made my mummy so well-chosen .
My guess is that your sister was design on hold the remnant as meals over the next few days and want to economise as much as possible , which is a horrible attitude for a host to have . "
And usersagplutofelt strongly that no one should be policing a guest’s food intake, least of all a teenage girl’s.
" A part of it is probably internalized misogynism . People will call hungry male stripling a ' growing boy ' but leave growing girls exist ! ! The other part of the babe , though , is just odd … did she plan on have some of that food for leftovers ? … It ’s not a crazy premiss to think that if nutrient is on the table , you , as the node , are take into account to have multiple plateful … "
But there were also commenters who thought it was inappropriate to get more than two plates of food at someone else’s house, period — likeu/Outside_guidance4752.
" Your daughter should have asked her aunty and not you , and you should n’t have assume but said demand your auntie . Not your house , not your food . I do retrieve it ’s kind of rude not to eat all solar day and then make up for it by feed 3 full plates of food at someone else ’s house . I also do n’t understand why you ’re not making sure your 16 - year - old gets 3 meals a day . Your sister way overreact by have sore and yelling , particularly when there was more food , and your kid is only 16 . "
And userCent1234agreed that the parent was the asshole in the situation, as well.
" You ’re awfully loose with other people ’s time , money , and labor . Your girl should have asked her , the air hostess .
You ’re give out as a parent to provide your child with intellectual nourishment and impressment upon her how significant it is not to go all solar day without eating , nor how insalubrious it is to go all day without , then binge three full plates . You were the one doing the disrespecting . "
UserAnonyCasssaid, “This is crazy; she might have gotten a couple of small plates. It’s disgusting behavior to shame her for this. Please, please talk to your daughter about this and try not to let it get into her psyche; this is the sort of things that trigger girls to EDs.”
" That ’s the matter , though : the original post-horse ’s kid is a girl , and I ’m much more judged by my family for eating more than my male cousins and my male parent . I ’m not rich , but I ’m also not cheeseparing , which makes it a problem for a lot of people for some reason ; I call up a lot of this has to do with the fact that her girl is a girl and the thought cognitive process of is ' Oh no , she eats ! She corrode ! She ’ll get fat ! Even though it ’s her first meal of the day , it ’s still too much ! ' And do n’t think it ’s ok OP ; please make certain your daughter is n’t affected by this . "
The dialogue even managed to make its way over to Twitter, where most users backed up the parent and agreed that they are not the asshole in this situation:
I ’m trying to think of a way this could be anything other than needlessly unfriendly , and I can’t . Like if they desire to make indisputable everyone else can get a clean parcel , just bloody ask if anyone else want more . She enquire for license to have more , how is that in anyway underbred ?
Every family meal I ’ve been to is like:“Dinner will be quick at 5:00 . Have some snacks while you ’re waiting . ”“Food ’s quick . There ’s pot for everyone . ”“Do you want more?”“Did you get dessert?”“Take some home with you ! ”
If I ’m get a huge dinner for extended home , anybody asking for third is my fresh favorite person .
If I were her I would drop a line off my extended family and go my life in peace . life sentence is too inadequate to put up with dirt like that .
Many also think this is negatively going to impact the relationship the aunt will have with her niece in the future:
What the heck is your background ? In my kin ( German inheritance ) the legion is thrill if somebody move back for seconds and thirds . More importantly , I question how that impact your girl and how she will see her auntie sound onward .
I find so sad for the girl . The aunty and the nan are dread homo and they should be ashamed of themselves .
What kind of woman makes a scene about a teen getting more food ? I wonder if that extra denture was deserving shaming her niece and putting a splinter in her human relationship ?
Comments have been edited for length and clarity .
