" ghost with the cleaning lady in my yoga course of instruction who paid for 60 minutes and place motionless on the storey the entire metre . "

While enjoying these final few days of July, I’ve been scrolling my own timeline, BuzzFeed’sviral tweets,fails, andBlack Twitterroundups to find the funniest jokes people posted this month. Let’s just say July was HILARIOUS, so let’s get into it:

1.

We ’re off to have a child . They take a picture of me for my name shred to ensure nobody else could sneak in to observe my wife give birth.pic.twitter.com/lUusLei4FO

2.

braving Costco on a Saturdaypic.twitter.com/b14WuIo14x

3.

had a dream I say a profoundly funny joke to larger and declamatory audience , who laughed hard and harder with each telling . wake up up in the middle of the night and write it down . tick off my nightstand in the first light and this was itpic.twitter.com/cRF2DVqLaf

4.

I do n’t know exactly what my fiancé is doing at his bachelor party but there are signspic.twitter.com/8Tgh87eSOt

5.

One affair every athlete should do on the eve of the biggest physical contest of their lives is take a three hour even boat ride in the pouring rain

6.

Told my nephew to get off that game and fall up his clothes …. See now I ’m harebrained 😂 pic.twitter.com/vrewfjv7So

7.

Kamala ’s VP alternative : pic.twitter.com / G5WF0g3AZA

8.

obsessed with the woman in my yoga class who pay for 60 minutes and set motionless on the floor the integral time

9.

his organic structure teahttps://t.co/Odp7ffCEPo

10.

shrek 2 was n’t on cyclosis so now we ’re keep an eye on the game boy upgrade television variation on our 4k tvpic.twitter.com/1OxEYlnEG9

11.

What was that tweet about how blanched multitude make out displume back while you ’re making out and say “ hi ”

12.

BRAT Summer ( Bedridden , Resting , Asleep , Tired )

13.

This is just pure wickedness ! ! ! ! ! ! 😕 pic.twitter.com/dx5fa6HCVa

14.

bruh why was i singing a Sung dynasty in the uber and the number one wood was like “ nah u havin too much fun ” and alter the Sung ? ? ? ? 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

15.

before the cover they handed us these little film strips and the guy pass on them out said in a very serious interpreter “ do n’t eat on them ” and i thought it was a reference to something that would materialize in the pic . but it was n’t . why did he say thatpic.twitter.com/u9QbwVM0bq

16.

just arrange coconut cream pie , disastrous coffee , & a side of bacon for dejeuner & my champion enjoin it was " giving death rowing "

17.

your 20 are for pondering sexlessness

18.

bored so i ’m in the dryerpic.twitter.com/rGZPK3avlj

19.

Husband built a fire in the firepit then stared at it with his workforce on his hips for 5 mins and said “ fire is so brainsick . cavemen must ’ve been so pumped ”

20.

this situation reserved for ppl that twerk at babieshttps://t.co/fYYcEI7wyq

21.

you ’ll be having a good solar day and then someone your old age says they ’re buying a house

22.

why do finance gentleman wear off backpacks . What ’s inside there . The money ? ? ?

23.

180 and 360 be eating y all up.https://t.co/FMpTg4qq0H

24.

I have access to outright carbon neutral AI . it ’s called my resourcefulness . I can make spongebob sing anything up there

25.

My grandad recollect “ butt dial ” and “ booty call ” imply the same affair so imagine how fishy it is to learn “ JASMINE DID YOU BOOTY CALL ME YESTERDAY ? ? ? ” being yelled at you at 10:45 am .

26.

In a changing room someone sneezed so I instinctively said ‘ sign you ’ and she said ‘ … who is that ? ? ’ and I said ‘ me ’

27.

flying attendant enounce they ’re out of gingerale … ok so why am I even on this plane

28.

I enjoy when fashionable girls have a baby and stay fashionable . Do n’t allow that bald headed baby slip your hotness .

29.

thanks mompic.twitter.com/4A987xhNW3

30.

General Lebron James span the Delawarepic.twitter.com/NBhGaehd2C

31.

the crime the criminalpic.twitter.com/T6ymWwgRl2

32.

no human has ever been this funnypic.twitter.com/7sFzRYDStF

33.

Telenovela ass calendar month in American politics

34.

pic.twitter.com/ogQnkfsXZC

35.

Biden being like “ I just do n’t wanna go in to work any longer ” at 2:00 on a Sunday is peak relatability

36.

THEY express joy AT ME FOR wreak TUMS TO THE CLUB BUT pretend WHAT NOW THEYRE ALL ask ME FOR piece of ass TUMS IN THE CLUB

37.

I set my wallpaper to this so I did n’t feel like I was miss out.pic.twitter.com/rEyM9tzwEP

38.

my friend is 6'5 " and tell me something vibrate and disturb once . he said whenever he takes the gearing during boot hour , he attend the same few other 6'5 " guy ' heads poke out of the morass of people , like treetop . they have a special 6'5 " guys nod and everything

39.

Whoever paint this rock to face like a finger , fuck youpic.twitter.com/ytShvYZCGi

40.

Well my ex-husband canceled the Spotify agiotage I was using which unfortunately mean I am revoking her Dads access to my Disney + . Good guy cable . detest to see him caught in the crossfire

41.

pic.twitter.com/yq9AdYO96N

42.

I have a go at it a pianissimo hate to see me come .

43.

“ From Tahiti , I ’m Colin Jost , this is my job.”pic.twitter.com/yazv2MG4tF

44.

crony that ’s Chilishttps://t.co/VlddUtkzLP

45.

type shitpic.twitter.com/W2ogzhQq6p

46.

we stayed at an air bnb with the most perfect pillows . a disclosure . perfectly steady but soft . my neck opening stopped hurting . so I write down the brand and item number from the tag and count it up and they ’re the same pillow we have at home

47.

my girl asked why she ca n’t just give up schoolhouse and i told her it ’s against the law and they ’ll put me in jail and my scented dulcet child look me in the eye and said “ i ’ll visit you ”

48.

Never turn back your employment email on a day offpic.twitter.com/FeL21vmCww

49.

My humanity was taking a bikini flick of me yesterday and say suck in your abdomen and I — like thank u for the centering but ? ? ?

50.

Dentists will wrench to their nurse and say‘A24 - calamitous traumatic root eruption’and then turn to you like ‘ all healthy 👍 ’

51.

My nestling just used the machine fill info on the iPad TO BOOK HIS OWN holiday . Now I get to make earphone vociferation explaining that we take to cancel these qualification because the gentleman who made them is in fact nineJfc

52.

You peel one piece of tegument off ya backtalk and the whole lip unzip like wtf