" I know the toilet hatred to see me come . "
August went as quickly as it came, and now, only four months are left in the year. Before we say goodbye to summer, take a look at some of the funniest tweets from this month:
And follow the account that made you express joy so your Twitter timeline will be even good !
1.
I ’m an unregistered nurse
2.
( hire backshots)he ’s … . right behind me is n’t he
3.
Bored as hell pour oil down the cesspool at the airbnb
4.
eat up an edible before my flight and I ’ve been inquire when we ’re gon na take off….the airplane lands in 15 Taiwanese :)
5.
u ever fulfil someone and u can say they were heavily tangled on campus
6.
I just moved in :( pic.twitter.com/NHsdpSPldB
7.
ca n’t believe i use a signature tune i made up when i was 10
8.
My Grindr bio say “ tell me your favorite flick ” and someone just messaged me enunciate Incredibles 2 because they have a hypnosis fetishpic.twitter.com/xAfLiS4Abd
9.
“ i ’m a top ” “ i ’m a bottom ” okay well I’M gon na bulge some tags , only induce $ 20 in my sack
10.
the inventor of deodorant was prolly fed tf up
11.
Queerbaiting preaching is so tired and fails to consider what a pleasure it is to see a straight celebrity I like being jocund for pay
12.
tiktok be like “ you may hump ” and it ’s the bozo who used to spit in your butt
13.
Being a consultant would be fun . Like “ hmmm … maybe ! Here ’s your invoice . ”
14.
My son can not believe he graduated from kindergarten & he still got ta go back to schooltime 😂 😂 😂 he thought that hoot was over
15.
Just farted so hard my feet went numb ? ? ? ?
16.
calling in afraid to work
17.
( flirting ) do u find a flock of items in that game . Is that what do it fun
18.
Noo do n’t pour down urself ure a golf shot state voter aha .
19.
regrettably for me , i do n’t date for fun….are u my married man or not
20.
“ Its pink btw ” , “ its big btw ” , IT is literally in the sewer steal kids wake the fucking up
21.
Waiting for your laundry to finish before you go to bottom feel like prison
22.
white homo using the full term " white woman " is really wild because you ’re literally bad
23.
once i learn the teacher say “ sorry if i misspeak ur name ” ik i m next on attendance 😭
24.
okay i ’m mend .. send me the precise same piece i JUST had .
25.
Do nt wanna go out … but there s a bartender out there who need my 20 % tip to flow his familypic.twitter.com/ohq8xMHhUx
26.
this how hard i be pressing notify anywaypic.twitter.com/yV8LVuD7iv
27.
The gentrification of juice into mocktails is really start to piss me off … . That ’s a $ 18 Capri Sun
28.
bf keeps stand outside to “ keep an eye ” on a crazy violent storm that ’s hustle inpic.twitter.com/8NE6KuPwI1
29.
i know that ' forgot password ' button hate to see me come in
30.
Today is the kind of day where you stop work and give thanks God you do n’t have minor , cos there ’s just no mode
31.
oh you like nyc ? name every rat
32.
pic.twitter.com/PUPUx7KHSr
33.
that ’s what being 0 - 5 year old is forhttps://t.co/7CxJ295soz
34.
[ hard launching her ] : yes it ’s true . We ’re in cahoot
35.
I did brat summer in 2022 and spent two year bring around from that kind of behavior
36.
being 24 is fun because you make friends and you have no musical theme they ’re 32
37.
momma can you pick me up ? i took a consulting job and now i ’m at top golf cincinnati .
38.
( first twenty-four hour period as a pilot ) the what pit
39.
Dating app for people with no rizz called Fumble
40.
My job is forcing us to have a coming together about what is make our burnout and I put this in the Old World chat : pic.twitter.com/1VxLZqhJ4u
41.
when an ugly man follows u on ig it feels like ur being chased in the Wood
42.
play by saying give thanks you so much instead of thank you
43.
the dentist ’s assistant gon ask me if i have a gf … . little girl ik u see these contusion in the back of my throat
44.
me trying to stay awake at work after eat lunchpic.twitter.com/dCwBFp4SQP
45.
I need to get laid so risky but I do n’t need to
46.
Does anybody know why he did that to me . No worries if not
47.
My friend got shoot so i brought him a crossword puzzle to the hospital he said “ give thanks you but do it look like i wanna do a fucking crossword puzzle ? ” Like oh ok fuck i thought 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭
48.
When I was a kid I wanted to pull these nut apart like a wishbonepic.twitter.com/B9Ml6JH0NL
49.
after i do my lil heartsease sign + head tilt combo , get that camera out my look fr 😭 😂
50.
Ik a toilet hatred to see me number 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
51.
" born a man " " accept a woman " sir i was deport a nestling . a baby , even
52.
i know that block button hatred to see me coming .
53.
being 25 is crazy i ’m paying bill and fee i ’ve never even heard of before
54.
I still wanna get laid why the Popeyes Gallus gallus sandwich made y all act like that
55.
“ finally a day off”my Clarence Day off : pic.twitter.com / ppJsBq1fav
56.
“ may make drowsiness”pic.twitter.com/TE0jI5G7Qr
57.
being the only interne at a whole staff happy hourpic.twitter.com/WtokL5kpQZ
58.
just realized paying with apple pay and using boldness ID is kinda like using face card
59.
demure demure demure do mure job applications
60.
ricochet on it in a manner that build character development and furthers the plot
61.
“ You dodged a fastball ” ok and mayhap I wanted to get shoot . Ever consider that
62.
function to pilates is fun but it ’s also like who are all these women
63.
They deadass walking around looking like thishttps://t.co/SVL2h2SCtypic.twitter.com/5iXslfV6DR
64.
did it suffer ? when you realised 2025 is just 4 months away & you are still processing 2019 which is about to be more than half a decennary ago
