" They both had affairs . I turned out to be from one of the social occasion . I ’ll never be able to match my literal family because of it . "
mention : This Charles William Post contains mentions of domesticated abuse and self-destruction .
People push through difficult periods in their marriages for a whole variety of reasons. But one common reason people stay together even after considering divorce is “for the kids,” — to prevent kids from experiencing the turmoil of parental divorce.
But there’s a lot of debate online about whether it’s as beneficial as people say, or if staying in an unhappy marriage actually makes things worse in the end. So we found someReddit threadswhere people whose parents"stayed for the kids"explained how things turned out. Here are some of those stories:
1.“They’re still together years after I moved out. Theyhateeach other. My dad constantly baits my mom, and my mom is always at my dad’s throat over something.”
2.“They divorced when I was 10, and I remember crying tears of joy. My father was so horrible to my mom, and I’ve always felt responsible. They had my siblings, split up, and then got together again to have me. The decade of abuse my mother had to endure wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for my birth. I’m majorly messed up in the relationship department after all that shit. So yeah, don’t stay together for the sake of kids.”
3.“It was devastating. My parents hated each other and argued bitterly on a daily basis, but stayed together for 40 years. My brother took his life at age 16, and I have been in therapy for years and years, now finally getting help from the adult children of alcoholics (12 step) program.”
4.“I always wished my parents would have divorced. I would have rather shuffled between two homes than listened to fighting at dinner every night.”
5.“My parents fought and screamed all the time behind closed doors. I’m not necessarily unhappy they stayed together, but it took them 15 years (ish) tofinallyget their shit together. I knew well enough to know this was a terrible dynamic so luckily I didn’t fall into that trap myself, but my brothers and I were (unsurprisingly) all sorts of fucked up as teenagers and in our early 20s.”
6.“They worked out their issues, became a stronger couple than they were before and have never been happier. Life continues to throw curveballs, but they have each other’s backs forever.”
7.“I wish they had gotten a divorce, honestly. Their unhappiness spilled over into every aspect of everything. Maybe two parents can be adults and act mature about the situation and really put in effort for the kids, but I imagine that’s a minority of people capable of doing that.”
8.“Growing up, my parents were pretty unhappy. They never fought in front of us, but I could tell my mom didn’t really like my dad and resented him a lot (they were young parents so he would often party and leave my mom home with us three kids by herself). About 11 years ago, we moved into a larger house so my mom’s parents could live with us. Around that time, my parents fell in love all over again, and their relationship has been amazing ever since.”
9.“Mine stayed together until I was an adult, and then they decided to end it in the worst way possible. It felt like high school drama all over again, and they blamed us for it. Every time you’d try to knock some sense into one of them, you’d be hit with the ‘I should have parted ways a long time ago; I stayed for you and this is how you repay me?’ It was a lot of guilt-tripping, a lot of manipulation, and a lot of toxicity.”
10.“They both had affairs. I turned out to be from one of the affairs. I’ll never be able to meet my real family because of it.”
11.“They waited too long for a divorce. I was 11 when I realized my parents weren’t in a happy marriage. I even told my mom that I’d go live with my dad when they did get a divorce. It took 12 more years of constant fighting, zero communication, and my mom losing our house for them to get a divorce. Weirdly enough, four years later, they’re back together.”
12.“Not me, but a friend from high school. They finally split in her senior year; her mental health increased drastically, and her grades skyrocketed.”
13.“They’ve hated each other for so long they think it’s love. I can remember a brief time in my childhood where my parents shared a bed, but to this day, they are still married and still live in separate bedrooms. They’re old now and as unhappy as they ever were. My mom is constantly on my dad’s back with criticism about every little thing, and my dad is still yelling at her like the angry asshole he is.”
14.“I actually do have a friend who struggles with relationships because of his perception of what a relationship should be was skewed by his parents staying together. He’s since moved out of state, and I help as best I can, but he’s not always as open as he needs to be to get real help. He’s a really great guy, and I feel so bad for him.”
15.“They tried [to stay together for the kids] and then ended up divorcing. Last I heard, my mom blocked my dad’s number, and he texted me to complain about it. Would not recommend.”
mention : Some reply have been edit for length and/or limpidity .
If you or someone you lie with is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence , call 911 . For anonymous , confidential help , you could call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 799 - 7233 ( SAFE ) or chatter with an advocate via the website .
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1 - 800 - 273 - 8255 . Other international self-destruction helplines can be observe atbefrienders.org . The Trevor Project , which provides avail and self-destruction - prevention resources for LGBTQ youth , is 1 - 866 - 488 - 7386 .
