Sad article incoming .

I recently spent the day with a friend who is grieving for her very sick family member.

I struggled with what to say. I decided the best thing I could do was to be present with and listen to my friend. I found myself repeating, “I’m just so sorry.”

Sometimes, we don’t have the words, and that’s okay. But I’m curious if anyone here who has gone through the grieving process has any advice on what to say (or, whatnotto say).

For example, maybe somebody offered a piece of wisdom that stuck with you. Maybe a loved one said something that hit the right chord and helped you through.

Or maybe somebody shared something totallyunhelpful, and we should all do our best to keep those thoughts…unsaid.

Or maybe it’s not what somebody said, but what they did for you.

Did a friend notice you were struggling and bring over food or flowers?

It can be hard to know what to say or do when someone you love is hurting, so I’m turning to the ever-reverentBuzzFeed Communityfor advice.

Although my story was about the possible loss of a loved one , please experience that the words you received can be in response to any clock time you experienced brokenheartedness ( frombreak - upsto lost jobs to illness or ducky passing off , and so on ) .

Because regardless of the context, I want to hear what has been helpful for you (or what you want peopleneverto do again).

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Sad article incoming.

Two people sit on a bed, with one person's arm wrapped around the other in an affectionate manner. Their faces are not visible

Three people sit closely on a couch, holding hands, appearing to comfort each other

An older woman with white hair, wearing a patterned top, looks concerned with her hand raised, possibly reaching out or gesturing

Two people embrace in a comforting hug. Their faces are not visible

An elderly woman and man are sitting at a kitchen table eating a meal, engaged in conversation. The man is wearing a yellow vest over a blue shirt; the woman is in a red top