" If he rationalize for the input , the marriage is salvageable . If he ’s not willing to do that , the wedding is off , and probably the relationship . We ’ll see … "
The pressure on brides to be these flawless, blushing beauties is one of the most aggravating parts of the circus that can arise around weddings. Isn’t the whole point of love about appreciating a person for who they are, not what they look like? Apparently, this bride-to-be’s fiancé and mother-in-law missed that memo, and people have a lot to say about it on ther/AITAH subreddit.
Reddit useru/InternationalWar1403has been left wondering if she took it too far when she issued the ultimatum that she would only wear makeup to her wedding if her fiancé did. Here’s thestory:
“I, a 26-year-old female, do not wear makeup. I experimented with it as a teen, but I hate the way it feels on my face, and I just don’t really see the point. My face is my face, and I think it’s a good one, as is.”
“We are currently deep in wedding planning. I’ve picked out a dress and am making arrangements for a hairstylist and such for the big day. My mother-in-law said she would call a friend of hers who is a wonderful makeup artist and would probably cut us a deal. I said, ‘No thanks, I wasn’t planning on makeup for the wedding,’ as I never wore it. She tried to insist, saying that I would regret not wearing it when I saw the photos, but I held firm.”
“I’ve seen myself in prom dresses and other fancy occasion pictures and have never wished I had worn makeup. The most I’m going to do is get a spa treatment, so my skin looks its best.”
“This upset my mother-in-law, so she got my fiancé involved. He asked if I would just wear makeup for the ceremony and pictures. I told him I wanted to look at my pictures and see me.”
“He said it would still be me — just ‘the best version of me.’ Which pissed me off, not going to lie, so I asked him if he was going to wear makeup to look like ‘the best version’ of himself.”
“He said no, so I told him that I will make him a deal: The only way I would wear makeup is if he also wore makeup, tit for tat, in a masculine style.”
" I wear lipstick , he wears lipstick . I weary foundation , he wears foundation . His can be whole neutral , but he has to bust it for the Clarence Shepard Day Jr. and do the trial run , and everything else the stylist desire . "
“He said I was being unreasonable, even though he couldn’t come up with a reason why the pictures would look better ifIwore makeup, but not him, so he stormed off. Sister-in-law sent me a text telling me I was delusional if I didn’t think I needed makeup and to suck it up for one day.”
" Most of my girlfriends are on my side , and the earthly concern ’s best maid - of - honor is quick to throw helping hand , but some citizenry think it ’s stock to don make-up for formal occasions , and I ’m being ' wanted ' about it . My blood brother thinks my conditions were ' emasculating ' to my fiancé . "
take note : Some of this submission was edited for length and/or clearness .
“Not the asshole,” commenteru/freerange_chickensaid. “Youshouldbe ‘the best version of yourself’ on your wedding day. If that means no makeup to you, that is the best version of yourself. These other people can put as much makeup as they want on themselves for the day if that will make them feel better, but no one can tell you howyouwill feel like the bestyou.”
" By the way , I dead love the ' if you wear lipstick , I will have on lipstick ' via media . If he wo n’t , why should you ? "
Redditoru/Clammypollackmade an extremely valid point about what’s “normal” vs. what’s “right,” too: “I think people get really hung up on what the norm is for the time. It’s normal for brides to get their hair done up and to have their makeup done professionally for the wedding. This doesn’t make it right. It just makes it something that people expect to see, even if half the time, the hair is overdone, and the makeup makes her look like a clown.”
" tolerate your priming coat and seek to get an understanding of where your fiancé is coming from . Does he really want to see the makeup on you , or is he just trying to please Mommy ? Either way , there is a trouble , but knowing the ' why ' of it can tell you the precise nature of the problem . "
Many users felt very strongly that the fiancé prioritizing the unreasonable demands of his family over the bride’s wishes would set a crappy precedent for any future issues.
" make love the makeup . You ’re about to hook up with a sheik who let the judgment of his female parent and babe impress his relationship ! Why do you need to appease his mother on YOUR marriage sidereal day ? Why are the demands and wish of his mother and sister more of import than yours ? It is supposed to be the happiest day of your life , and you ’re gon na start your married couple with your fiancé accept his mother ’s side instead of yours . Be prepared for your opinions to be pushed aside for your succeeding devil - in - law once you get going hold infant . sound luck , original poster ! "
— u/_A - Q
Another user,u/elephantorgazelle,responded by sharing the difference between the misery of her first marriage — where her husband also made demands of her appearance — and her second with someone who loves her for who she is:
" My first married man wanted me pretty , shaven clean , and all that nothingness . I hat it . We lasted three years . I am presently approaching 18 years with another military man who reminds me I do n’t have to shave anything unless I want to because he loves me as I am . If he ever told me to wear makeup to be my ' good version , ' I ’d think he was have a diagonal . "
Many also felt that the groom’s instinct to storm off when confronted raised major red flags.
Useru/OverItButWthchimed in on how the groomshouldhave responded to the demands of his family.
" Everything could have worked out exquisitely had he not stormed off like a crashing babe , but that would have been the business deal - circuit breaker for me . She give him a great resolution , and he should have laughed and said : ' You know , you ’re right-hand , I ’ll recount my house to back off . I ’m no-account about what I said . You ’re gorgeous as you are , gratis of makeup , and get it on wo n’t make you more so . ' BUT , he get it on it up showing his puerility ! "
Commenteru/Frequent_Couple5498was among many that felt it was concerning that the groom thought an artificially made-up version of the bride was her at her “best.”
The bride herself went on to express that this was also a very concerning viewpoint to her and that it was ultimately enough for her to have doubts about the wedding — not to mention their entire relationship.
" I ’m considering the spousal relationship . He ’s been really great up until we set off planning the wedding , but I ’m middling mad about the ' good variation ' remark , and he has yet to apologize . I ’m not very impressed with how he ’s been refereeing his kinfolk since the planning started anyway , but his mammy has been particularly prying and pushy , so I can interpret that this is a nerve-racking period of time . "
“If he apologizes for the comment and we have a productive talk about boundaries that results in him putting his foot down with his mom and sister, it’s salvageable. If he’s not willing to do that, the wedding is off, and probably the relationship. At this point, I may be throwing a ‘Whew, that was close!’ gala. We’ll see…”
