" chappell roan sounds like a catholic schoolhouse in north-east with a decent football squad "

Folks, I can’t believe summer 2024 is coming to an end already — what a chaotic three months it has been. Before we head into September, let’s have one last laugh at the funniest tweets from August.

1.

I step on a couple of leaves this morning and they crunched!!pic.twitter.com / tBa99btTiw

2.

venture I ’ll have to : https://t.co / WTbv8jZkTMpic.twitter.com / kCOGGMAJbK

3.

In junior heights I had a crush on a guy cable on my swim team whose wooden leg appear like this but my Quaker and I did n’t know his name so we called him " white feet"pic.twitter.com / M4YOf8ZAub

4.

there ’s a luggage carousel in Harlem where they plan the animal after children ’s drawings and I need someone to check on this kidpic.twitter.com/fjpH09kyrb

5.

There ’s a light projection of Steve Harvey over Atlanta right now and I have no clue whypic.twitter.com/r3Z7Vnua6 t

6.

Today at Ft Lauderdale Airport , the man in a nearby cubicle was muttering “ God ’s got this ” before throw away his rap off . I do n’t know what crapper parking brake was charge him , but I bid him the best , as I know we all do.pic.twitter.com/Og7eiVg31a

7.

Anything for democracy I guess … 😂 https://t.co / sy3ksy1DbR

8.

Fuck you too ! ! That ’s why you getting ate first 🤨 pic.twitter.com/KythZTWt3r

9.

A female coworker order me she ’s aroused by my judgment , then proceeded to explicate that it ’s because she ’s a psychologist and finds psychopaths fascinating . Now , hold up , heifer.pic.twitter.com/qgdMMsdlGr

10.

My hubby met us at the park and surprised me with a large iced coffee and I did n’t have the gist to tell him I just had a large iced coffee so now I ’m oscillate and going to wee-wee myself

11.

when i ’m out of gossippic.twitter.com/BP57EuOurk

12.

If I were Jordan Chiles n nem I ’d enjoin the Olympics my Momma got the Medal now . Cus you KNOW once yo momma get ahold to your accolades , they ai n’t goin NOWHERE!pic.twitter.com / wzWO20QcIr

13.

julio died or something???pic.twitter.com / YPy7TfwMkw

14.

My mom banned me from making bread so now I have to make it in secret when she ’s at work and stash it in my roompic.twitter.com/ayVBTnajIZ

15.

Today I went to the banking concern and asked if they had an atm . The guy said they had a private road thru . I enounce oh I walk here . He order that ’s o.k. . I had to hold off in line behind a car like this 🧍🏻‍ ♀ ️

16.

Ingrown hair is so childish to me because why are you actually trapped?Be grown & crowd through without induce a scene .

17.

drop dead to the car park to ponder only to find 4 other dudes already excogitate therepic.twitter.com/Q8rPXP3pgI

18.

before dudes snog u they give u this lookpic.twitter.com/BpRhjxNdUJ

19.

American acculturation amusing American sign language mfs really say “ how you doing ” and walk off 💀

20.

Me : We really need to be better about our language around the child . Husband : why?3 year honest-to-god snuggles down on the couch with a blanket : * susurration * this is cozy as fuck . hubby : I see .

21.

when the server bring out the fajitaspic.twitter.com/6b30ftHVbJ

22.

unopen captioning could not handle Pete Buttigieg order his own last namepic.twitter.com/E5EVyJadeJ

23.

Me ( lying next to 4yo as he falls asleep , thinking about the brevity of life and attempt to impress this very present moment in my storage for when he is grow ): I do it you4yo ( whispering very softly ): dada you need a mass

24.

Visiting Italy 💚 🤍 ♥ ️ so beautiful . Such a different means of life vs Americapic.twitter.com/IFGOhWwwY2

25.

i m crying i regularise a turtleneck pineapple roll at shadowy sum and ten mins later the waitress comes out apologizing abundantly like " we ’re so drab it number out really ugly . do you need it still we ’ll give it to you for free " YES OF COURSE anyway i love him . he was deliciouspic.twitter.com/7hmkteKMX2

26.

last night there was a party in my flat and while i was making a sandwich in the kitchen someone i do n’t know came up to me and said " are you allowed to do that "

27.

never making a typo again smhpic.twitter.com/bQA9rGCnrH

28.

ill bet sour cream and salsa do nt really wish eachother on a personal level but when they get in the studio apartment together its undeniable

29.

raise up there was a William Frederick Cody in every elementary schooling form but as an adult i have n’t forgather a Buffalo Bill Cody in years . where did they go

30.

Never lose my airpods againpic.twitter.com/MXmDr4WcOu

31.

I latterly teach my kiddo how to make my iced coffee bc she loves to be involved- it ’s always made so well & the other day something just felt off- this dawn she made my coffee bean & while she was doing the espresso she say “ sometimes you need supererogatory vigour .. so I do 4 scoops ”

32.

body so tea boston had a political party for it

33.

When I was arguing with Amazon about a lose tract and they ask me to provide a photo.pic.twitter.com/IiNq23pvJj

34.

I feel like this was fatepic.twitter.com/uN4MKrPAAm

35.

Need a novel dining table for my apartment . Might fuck around and get the og . Pregames would go so hard with one of these.pic.twitter.com/GWfU77sLU1

36.

Why hold it like a new apartment key ? 😭 😭 https://t.co/zBk68OxZw9

37.

See how I did n’t take my full dead reckoning of tequila because I screw I ’d throw up ? Very aware , very demure

38.

Went to my buddy ’s house and he think this absolute giant was gon na slip by without further inquirypic.twitter.com/1erZU8Ifrb

39.

Uh oh washing machine has go wokepic.twitter.com/h1yvue1EEt

40.

Me when a supporter enunciate “ can I say something mean?”pic.twitter.com / XVyGkfYAMV

41.

When i discover my man having merriment without mepic.twitter.com/qFoEeXB2KA

42.

chappell roan sounds like a catholic school in northeast with a decent football game squad

43.

Those animals do n’t even attend out together this is fucking nutshttps://t.co/KO6w926yxB

44.

“ Taco Bell is n’t even good ” Yeah I know . Sometimes the racoon inside of me thirst garbage . go away me & my Crunchwrap alone

45.

If I was told told to give my Olympic medal….yeah sure I ’d give it back….but I ’d be on the plane before they realize it ’s cake idgaf

46.

Just put another patty on it dawg stop playin wag mepic.twitter.com/roQ9pbEMs2

47.

Last clock time I natter my tooth doctor I notice that his twinkle looks just like a water buffalo…pic.twitter.com/1BA6JALDKT

48.

getting crunk off the bob tonight 🙏 🏻 🙏 🏻pic.twitter.com / kniQG1FFHE

49.

Its endure to be 33 degrees tomorrow . Perfect conditions for seat in front of a estimator projection screen all day and take money for a giant corporation if you ask me .

50.

Ever since I was a little female child I experience I wanted to take PTO