Note to self : charter an expert .
If you ever feel bad about your own awful home improvement skills, just remember…
1.At least you didn’t give your carpet a cool, clean, fresh coat of paint:
2.At least your toilet didn’t make you a new indoor pool:
3.At least you didn’t learn this very valuable lesson:
4.At least you aren’t actively trying to end your grandpappies:
5.At least you didn’t make a very, very expensive error:
6.At least your wall doesn’t look like a frickin' Rothko painting… I’m serious!
7.At least the one thing that was supposed to build didn’t destroy your floor:
8.At least you don’t have to live out the rest of your days in the basement:
9.At least you didn’t spill black paint tastefully up and down your carpeted stairs:
10.At least you didn’t anger some very nasty birds:
11.At least you didn’t miss a crucial, crucial spot:
12.At least your TV didn’t take a gigantic leap:
13.At least you don’t bang your big ol' noggin every time you go downstairs:
14.At least you didn’t drill your bathtub a brand-new drain:
15.At least you didn’t lay a nice coat of paint on the self-checkout machine:
16.At least you didn’t seal a mosquito into its new eternal resting place:
17.At least your attic project didn’t lead to a bedroom project:
18.At least those cabinets you put up didn’t fall to their untimely doom:
19.At least your stairs didn’t get a visit from the ghost of Jackson Pollock:
20.At least you aren’t seasoning your food with a healthy heap of dust:
21.At least you didn’t metamorphose into a chandelier:
22.At least you didn’t have to learn this very valuable lesson…
23….or this other very valuable lesson:
24.At least your awning doesn’t have you aw-ing in pain:
25.At least you didn’t fly real fast and loose with those tiles at the end:
26.At least you didn’t completely miss on this installation:
27.At least your fridge isn’t taunting you:
28.At least you aren’t forever trapped on your roof after your ladder fell:
29.At least a cat didn’t laugh in the face of your concrete:
30.At least you didn’t spill literally everything:
31.At least you didn’t leave your bedroom looking like a crime scene while painting:
32.At least you didn’t put your ceiling fan in fan prison:
33.At least this isn’t the first thing you see every single morning:
34.At least you won’t have a heart attack every time you leave your bedroom:
35.At least your cat and the Roomba didn’t conspire against you:
36.At least the vent you installed won’t be blasting whatever happens in the bathroom all over the place:
37.At least you don’t have approximately 7 inches between your boiling pot of water and your stove hood:
38.At least you aren’t reminded of humanity’s foibles every time you turn the light on:
39.At least you aren’t locked in a never-ending game of hide-and-go-seek with an outlet:
40.At least your pipe, uh, doesn’t, uh, you know, uh, look like this:
41.At least you didn’t run out of paint at the worst possible moment:
42.At least you didn’t pop your wall full of holes:
43.At least you’re not dealing with…this:
44.At least your toilet isn’t a dang puzzle:
45.And at least you’re not the Green Man:
