" I remember cogitate to myself , ' I ’m just 20 years old . I should be able-bodied to carry a baby , ' " she articulate .
This level deals with the topic of maternity loss .
Throughout her career, Halsey has beenextremely openabout her health concerns, and most recently, she spoke candidly about experiencing a miscarriage during a concert when she was 20 years old.
On Tuesday’s episode of theSHE MDpodcast, Halsey, who uses she/they pronouns, shared, “I miscarried during a concert. I started miscarrying before the show.”
“And I was in a really tough position because it was really early on in my career, and there was a lot attached to the show,” they continued. “There was a corporate partner, there was a greater media entity partner, but more importantly than that to me, there [were] a thousand kids who waited all day long to get into this show and see me.”
“And what ended up happening was I ended up just putting on an adult diaper,” Halsey said. “They’d only asked me to perform for, I think, 45 minutes. And I didn’t really have that much music out, to be honest with you, so I don’t know that I could have played longer.”
She went on to perform, and after leaving the stage, she threw up in the parking lot. “I went to a hotel, and I was sick all night. I remember sitting in the bathtub because I just didn’t know what to do with all the blood,” they added. “And then waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning to get on another airplane to go to Canada.”
They also said that the concert was filmed and that Halsey didn’t even recognize themself after watching it. “It’s funny because when I look at it now, I see myself just white and sweating, and my voice is different,” she said. “My voice is guttural. I sound and look like a different person.”
“And I just remember feeling like, ‘I don’t know who to talk to about this.’ Because at the time, the only stories about miscarriage that I had heard were from women who were happily married,” they continued.
“And they most of the time would speak about it after they had successfully conceived and carried to term and been like, ‘So this happened before this.’ It was just a world of information that [wasn’t] accessible to me, I just felt so alone,” they said.
“And I remember thinking to myself, ‘I’m just 20 years old. I should be able to carry a baby.’ I didn’t want to be pregnant. I was way involved in my career,” she said.
Halsey, now 29, welcomed her first child, Ender, with ex Alev Aydin in 2021.
Listen to Halsey’s full interviewhere.
