" Ballerina Farm is proof that you should n’t aspire to marry a rich man . You should marry a generous one alternatively . "
In a world where conservatives argue America is being run by"a bunch of childless cat ladies,“it’s not too surprising that all eyes are on the “trad wives” — the child-rearing, home-focused women who’ve publicly adopted traditional gender roles despite the girlbossing generation that came before them.
You may have heard ofNara Smith, the 22-year-old model-turned-mom-of-three who often goes viral for her hushed, ASMR-like videos where she makes things from scratch (often wearing vintage ’50s-style clothes). Then there’s 34-year-old Hannah Neeleman — better known as Ballerina Farm — whoseprofile inthe Times, labeling her the “queen of the trad wives,” went viral this past week for giving curious readers a peek into why a Juilliard-trained ballerina traded pointe shoes for farm life and childbearing.
For her 9.5 millionInstagramand 9 millionTikTokfollowers, Hannah’s life is filled with cooking (milking cows andchurning butterincluded) and farm-tending, all while looking after eight little ones who both tug at her sleeve andhelp with the farm chores.
Now, Hannah is going viral not because of her flower-designing orperfectly poached eggrecipe but because of a profile that revealed what life actually might look like on the Ballerina Farm — from exhaustion to a husband and eight kids who seemingly never leave her side.
At one point, the writer asked Hannah if this was the life she always wanted, and Hannah admitted that no, it was New York City and to be a ballerina. She told the Times, “I was a good ballerina. But I knew that when I started to have kids, my life would start to look different.”
This prompted a response from fans who commented just how intense Juilliard is to get into, echoing how much Hannah had to leave behind.
I do n’t reckon citizenry realise just how insane it is that#ballerinafarmleft julliard to lead off a household . They chose 12 distaff professional dancer a yr to be consent into that program . She would ’ve gone so far .
The fair sex gave up Juilliard ! You do n’t just get into one of the most competitive artistry schools stimulate you ’re effective , you have to be a great ballerina . They accept like 12 women and 12 hands a class . I ca n’t . I ca n’t !
Others have pointed out that Hannah’s quote — “I was a good ballerina” — undermines her skill.
Later in the article, Daniel said Hannah “sometimes gets so ill from exhaustion that she can’t get out of bed for a week,” which prompted people to express concern.
That Ballerina Farm article is insane . Like you watch over your married woman get so spent from doing childcare and all the “ from dough ” cooking that she ca n’t get out of the bed for a hebdomad at a time and that ’s not a business ? ?
Another moment that caught readers' attention was when Hannah discussed how she gave birth to all her babies at home, aside from her daughter, Martha, with whom she had an epidural because she was “two weeks overdue” and “Daniel wasn’t with [her].” She told the Times that the epidural was “an amazing experience” and “kinda great,” despite birthing all her other children with no pain relief. In response, one userwrote, “we have to SAVE HERRRRRRR,” in a viral tweet.
we have to SAVE HERRRRRRRhttps://t.co/B9Ti8jKuEvpic.twitter.com/5XHyIzk8cH
Lastly, the internet has been critiquing Daniel — first, because he allegedly would speak over Hannah, as observed by the Times writer. Theywrotein the article, “I can’t, it seems, get an answer out of Neeleman without her being corrected, interrupted or answered for by either her husband or a child.”
Second, Daniel is facing critique because of how he pursued Hannah. Despite Hannah previously telling Daniel she didn’t want to date, Danieltoldthe Times he found the flight she was on at JetBlue (his father’s company), pulled some strings, and “made a call” to get seated next to her.
According to the Times , after a calendar month , they got engaged , two months subsequently , they were marry , and three calendar month later , Hannah was pregnant .
In a viral tweet, one personcalledthe date “engineered” against a “vulnerable young woman”:
lastly read the danseuse farms article . please can we lecture about how this billionaire heritor orchestrate a “ first appointment ” with a vulnerable untried womanhood travelling alone , lock her in and then completely isolate her in a foreign state to be his own personal incubatorpic.twitter.com/8vrLstcnHb
Another personwrote, “That man used his dad’s connections to stalk her flight itinerary & forced their ‘1st date’ after she spent 6 [months] saying NO to him. This same man doesn’t want to buy her a ticket to Greece. That woman is basically the ballerina in the trinket box - lifeless.”
That world used his dad ’s connection to stalk her flight route & forced their “ 1st engagement ” after she spent 6 mo sound out NO to him . This same military personnel does n’t need to buy her a ✈ ️ slate to Greece . That woman is basically the ballerina in the trinket loge - lifeless 😖 #ballerinafarmpic.twitter.com / Ut1AxenDyR
The “take her to Greece!” comment refers toa videothat went viral after the article was published where Hannah opens a birthday present from her husband, hopes it’s tickets to Greece, and instead gets an egg apron.
Yall think that ballerina farms article is spoilt 🤭 bet what he get her for her birthday … the billionaire that owns an AIRLINE & listen…pic.twitter.com/8vMmv0DmDf
The video garnered a lot of attention, with one personwriting, “When I say the alarms are blaring, I mean THIS. She asked for a trip to Greece, which they CAN AFFORD and he gave her an apron, for which he demands a thank you. That is how he views her: a thing he possesses, controls, in fulfillment of his own ego. I’ve known too many Daniels.”
When I say the alarms are blaring , I mean THIS . She asked for a head trip to Greece , which they CAN give and he yield her an apron , for which he demands a thank you . That is how he views her : a thing he have , controls , in fulfilment of his own ego . I’ve bed too many Daniels.https://t.co/mJrnKEiq11
Since publishing, many, many others have shared their thoughts online. One person said it was the “saddest” thing they’ve read:
This Hannah Neeleman ’s write up is the saddest affair I ’ve read in a longsighted time . That world could pull strings to get on the same flight she was on for their “ first appointment ” but he could n’t get her a aeroplane tag to Greece for her birthday after 8 children ? ? ?
Other fans have taken to Ballerina Farm’s social media pages to share their feelings. Some havewrittento Hannah directly, commenting on her page things like, “I hope one day you get the chance to dance again,” and expressing concern over her alleged situation, including being able to use her voice and getting help.
And others have instead written on her husband’ssocial media page. One personwrote, “Give her a dance studio, hire help for the kids, and take her to Greece!” Several commenters have referenced Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” song, commenting, “Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.”
Of course, not everyone thinks Hannah needs help. Some have pointed out that through all this discourse — from her husband allegedly talking over her to the journalist’s own opinions — Hannah hasn’t really had a voice, and maybe she likes her life.
InaTimespodcast episodethat included clipped recordings from the original interview, there were a few quotes from Hannah’s perspective that were not included in the written article. First, Hannah told the Times that Daniel encouraged her to dance if that’s what she wanted. She said, “We were open to anything, but I knew deep down that I wanted to raise my babies.”
subsequently , Hannah say she and Daniel are in a partnership and that she does n’t " feel like I ’m at home raising Thomas Kyd by myself . Like , that ’s grueling . woman need support . So when Daniel read , ' OK permit ’s make something together , ' we really carried the mantle together . "
Still, others have come forward and expressed concern, even if this was her choice. One ex-Mormon woman, Hayley Rawle,said in a TikTok, “We will never know if Hannah Neeleman herself is really happy or really fulfilled, or if she chose this life for herself. What I do know, as an ex-Mormon woman, is that the dynamic, at least that’s portrayed in the article, between Hannah and her husband Daniel was incredibly unsurprisingly and deeply, deeply familiar.”
“Whether Hannah Neeleman really had a choice to choose that, or she was pressured into it by the patriarchal powers that be, the Mormon messaging, the messaging from her husband, again, we don’t know. I know that I felt immense pressure that I still work against to this day. Even with a progressive ex-Mormon husband, I am still unpacking the layers of that inside of myself. Also, having shame around wanting to contribute beyond that.”
And as others pointed out, even if Hannah did not like her situation and wanted to leave, it’s understandable that it would not be easy…
I ’m glad people are agnize the red sword lily in the Ballerina Farm clause but I demand those of you suppose “ why does n’t she exit ? ” endeavor to ideate how you flee a billionaire who controls your pecuniary resource , keeps you on a rural farm , and has unlimited resource to fight for hold .
…especially if you’ve only known highly controlled situations your whole life.
For now, Hannah Neeleman has made her first post since the profile and ensuing internet discussion began. In aTikTok, frolicking in a field of cows while holding her baby and kissing Daniel, she voices over how she started her dairy farm and announces that products will soon be in stock. “It’s the world we created, and I couldn’t love it more,” she ended.
That’s a wrap for now on the Ballerina Farm discourse from my side, but let me know what you think below.
BuzzFeed has reached out to Hannah Neeleman for a response.
