This parole ’s meaning and effect can be radically different .
About a year ago , Isabel Steckel texted her 30 - year - old erstwhile comrade about hanging out the following afternoon . She receive a one - word response : “ Sure . ”
“ If you ’re bring ‘ sure ’ position , then rent ’s not do it , ” Steckel countered . “ And he said , ‘ lol , ’ and I said , ‘ I ’m not kidding , lol . ’ ”
This May , the New York City - based comedianshareda screenshot of this conversation on X , formerly Twitter , and received more than 11,000 likes . The “ sure ” hater rose up to share how answering “ sure ” sounds peaceful and get down . A “ sure ” texterapologizedin a reply for the violence he had “ inflict while seek to come along well-situated and breezy . ”
This is only the latest entry in a perennial and continuously divisive debate over what “ sure”reallymeans . One Reddit drug user in the subreddit for “ unpopular opinions”declaredthat the Son “ trusted ” is “ synonymous with ‘ yes ’ and should n’t be link with sarcasm and attitude , ” while a observer for the Outlinewrotein 2018 that the word is “ the most passive - aggressive approving phrase ” that is “ a thumbs up to your face , and a jerkoff apparent motion behind your back . ”
Clearly , we are not sure about what “ sure ” should mean .
Although the dictionary meaning of “ sure ” is affirmation and certainty , its meaning can be anything but sealed but in a text conversation .
Why “sure” sounds so passive and indecisive in texts, according to a sociolinguist
Steckel say the tidings ’s signification is circumstance dependent . She noted that replying “ sure ” for an errand or task is fine , but it voice more annihilative to hear when you are inviting someone to drop time with you .
“ ask someone to hang out for me is like a very vulnerable move . So when I ’m getting that ‘ trusted , ’ I ’m wish , ‘ Alright , fuck it . I ’m not doing it , ’ ” she said .
Steckel said a “ trusted ” answer go like the other individual would rather “ break down than flow out ” and “ forcing someone to hang out with you is the defective notion in the public . ”
The problem with “ sure ” is that it sounds more doubtful and less enthusiastic than an unlimited “ yes ! ” or “ utterly , ” especially when you do not have eubstance language or outspoken cues to assure you .
“ certain is sort of indecisive , or has kind of a hesitant character to it . Like , ‘ Do want to go to the movies ? ’ ‘ Sure . ’ Do you really require to go ? ” explained Georgetown University sociolinguistCynthia Gordon .
Gordon said the different meanings of “ sure ” might also be generational . “ The new generation expects more enthusiasm in texting in general than older folks do , ” she say . She also noted that “ women tend to expect more of those expressed marker of enthusiasm . ”
In a schoolbook , the length of a message can also take on outsized grandness in the absence of in - person cues . Similar to why a one - word “ o.k. ” or “ k ” replysounds so alarming and curtto receive , short answers connote lesser campaign .
Meanwhile , Gordon said that the effort to write a full judgment of conviction or to write some additional ecphonesis detail advise , “ Yeah , I really am enthusiastic about this . ”
It ’s why a one - word “ certain ” touch doubtfulness , but “ sure affair ” ― my own received reply ― can go slightly more literal , if you are sincerely down to follow through on a petition .
One helpful tip if you do get a bland “ sure ” is to take a step back and recollect that it ’s not automatically a sign of disinterest . Gordon say every soul consider their own way of communicating is the natural way and “ we all need to be more generous in our interpretations . ”
Gordon cited the “ Key & Peele ” sketch between comedians Keegan - Michael Key and Jordan Peele as a classical example of this . In thevideo , “ there ’s a whole miscommunication just because one person misinterprets the other ’s kind of short , casual substance as being like , ‘ I do n’t give care , I do n’t care . ’ But that ’s not what ’s break down on , ” Gordon explained .
In the sketch , it ’s not until the anxious supporter character project his smiling buddy ’s face at the barroom that he realizes that his friend really wanted to hang out with him . It ’s a reminder that in - person intonation can provide more valuable information about the state of your relationship than just a one - word “ certain ” text .
But until you come across up in - mortal , it does not ache to give your conversation partner a little more reassurance .
“ I would be less felicitous if I tempt someone somewhere and they said , ‘ indisputable . ’ I think I ’d want more enthusiasm for some societal kind of involution , ” Gordon state . “ If you ’re making the exploit to connect with somebody , and kind of put it out there that you do something together and the other someone suppose , ‘ sure , ’ it would n’t meet my outlook for propose it was going to be a good time . “
dramatize your “ sure ” with a upbeat exclaiming or even an supererogatory word or two can make it clearer that you are genuinely consonant to what the other someone is articulate . “ I do remember a ‘ sure ’ with an exclaiming power point is worlds dissimilar than just a normal ‘ sure , ’ ” Steckel said .
All to say : you could be “ certain , ” or you could be “ certain ! ” Do you want to possibly send your friend or phratry member into an anxious spiral or do you want to pass one extra second adding that bubbly exclamation gunpoint or additional Good Book ?
The alternative is yours . This article originally appeared onHuffPost .
