" He said that he bed by my alternative of comedy that I ’d be cool with get an abortion if he let me significant . This was his chess opening line . "
Recently, Reddit userIBuki_Meoda_neoasked, “Fellow ladies of Reddit, what was the worst first message someone sent you on a dating app?” and the answers made me fear the state of modern dating. Here are some of the worst first messages people have gotten — along with a few more heinous examples from Reddit.
1.“A picture of him lying on his bed with his three cats gathered lovingly around his boner.”
— u / achalkyundertaste
2."‘Is the downstairs ginger too?’ Not even a hello first. Just straight into pubic research."
— u / MrsCosmopilite
3."‘I was three feet away from you today, and you didn’t even know it.’ (The guy was apparently in an elevator with me, recognized me in my picture on the app, and sent me this. I blocked him.)"
— uranium / FedExorcism
4.“One I got: I’m not attracted to women like you, but I will still fuck you if you want.”
— u / vftgurl123
5.“Some guy was asking me to hook up. I told him no, as we hadn’t met in person yet, and then he said, ‘What about anal?’…I told him I don’t do anal with strangers either, and then he started sending death threats LMAO.”
— u/0mondo
6.“I had a guy start with, ‘why do you look like an eight in some pictures and a four in others?’ Like damn, dude. That was unnecessary…but also which ones sucked?? 😂”
— uracil / bekah1701
7.“Just a dick pic. I replied, ‘leading with your shortcomings is a bold choice.'”
— uracil / iaspiretobeclever
8.“This one dude messaged me on this app with some big spiel about how he’s a nice guy and girls don’t always talk to him because he’s so nice and they take advantage of him because he’s a nice guy blah blah…So I took a look at his profile and was like, eh, we have nothing in common, and he’s not my type. Not even five minutes later, he sent me this message about how I’m a bitch and fat and ugly and who would want me anyway. All because in that time frame — while I was looking through his profile — I didn’t answer. I’ve never seen someone switch up so fast…it was actually scary. All I said was, ‘Yeah, you sure are a nice guy, huh?”
" I did not abstract right on this beau . I recollect this would go without say . On some date apps , you could message anyone . "
— u / Vegetable - Day5989
9."‘If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you out of the house without a collar and a leash.'"
— u / tightgoddess _
10."‘Looking for some fun, those melons look sweet. Nip reveal?'"
— u / ladyLucia00
11.“He said that he knew by my choice of comedy that I’d be cool with getting an abortion if he got me pregnant. This was his opening line.”
— uracil / feverhunt
12.“Are you down to choke on this small white dick?”
— u / ChibiSailorMercury
13."‘Your eyes are so pretty, I want to gouge them out with a spoon.’ 💀 I still don’t think I’ve recovered years later; it was such an extreme way to say you like someone’s eyes. 😭"
— u / bznnii
14."‘I have a Dom personality due to having an abusive childhood.’ No hello, no small talk, just this. Never noped out quicker."
— uranium / sunrae _
15."‘How pink is it?'"
— u / drowsytonks
16.“He typed hello…and then made a video call that I made the mistake of answering. All I saw was a dick being jerked off. I blocked him.”
" Another time , a guy cable started chatting casually for like five second , then said he wanted to move in with me ; I obstruct him . He call up me from a different routine to shout and rely at me . "
— u/83Moonchild
17.“When I was nineteen, I was in a dating app, and this guy messaged me saying, ‘Let me use your cum in a s’more’ and I blocked him.💀”
— atomic number 92 / No - Cover7141
18."‘I’m golfing right now, but you can be the 19th hole.’ Hard pass."
— u / odimarty
19."‘You seem fertile.’ 🤢"
— uranium / One - Yogurtcloset2138
20.“I have a small collection of vintage prescription eyewear that I use daily. I’m paraphrasing, but it was along the lines of, ‘Women who wear glasses like yours have a lot of opinions.’………Okay?”
— u / cmissfit
21."‘You look like my dead wife, kinda. What’s your cup size?'"
— u / miletharil
22."‘Wow, I can’t tell if you’re really good with filters or just really fucking pretty.’ So, being a wise-ass I am, I told him I’m actually a hideous beast. He said back, ‘I don’t even know how to reply to that.’ And I unmatched."
— u / GreekGoddessOfNight
23.“As an East Asian woman, one guy sent a DM just saying ‘yellow fever.’ 🤮”
— uranium / GunnerT1
24.‘Would you wear high heels and film yourself stamping a crab to death?’…When I responded with ‘wtf,’ he came back with, ‘you could do it with a mouse.’ Like that’s better???! Freaky."
— u / Fly - the - Inachis io
25.“One guy opened by saying that I am probably really embarrassed about my big ears, but they make him just want to nibble on them. My ears are not even big. I am not embarrassed by them at all.”
— u / lucy_pevensie
26."‘Would you be willing to pretend you’re a bird? Because I’ve got a little worm for you.'"
— u / theworldneedsyou
27."‘Good morning BIG BOOBS.’ Note: there were no pictures of my boobs (or body generally) in the profile. And that was his capitalization."
— u / beastmasterlady
28."‘We could make some beautiful blue-eyed Asian babies.’ He was not Asian, and neither am I, but he apparently thought otherwise. Either way, a wildly inappropriate thing to say."
— u / jannabjones
29.“I had a guy try to correct me on what my favorite video game was. There have been a ton of cringey openers, but that always stuck out to me. The gatekeeping guys are the worst. I almost want to match with them to tell them off, but it’s not worth it.”
— uracil / drewberryblueberry
30.“I got, ‘bitch who the fuck, why you look like the wendy’s logo’ (which I didn’t). But I asked him if he had a problem with that, and his response was: ‘No, I love Wendy’s, do you have a problem with anal?'”
— uranium / marska77
31."‘I like Asians.’ ‘I like not to be fetishized.’ ‘WELL, BASED ON YOUR SECOND PICTURE, YOUR SHOULDER INDICATED YOU HAVE TOO HIGH A BODY FAT PERCENTAGE FOR ME ANYWAYS.’ I laughed, showed all my friends the message, and then blocked him."
— uranium / CutieBoBootie
32."‘You look like my next ex-wife.’ Kinda made me laugh, but starting out with a negative does not work for me. My 14-year old daughter suggested my response: ‘You look like my next ATM.'"
— uranium / mustbethedragon
33."‘I will convince you that having children is actually a really bad idea.’ My profile said I want kids; his said he didn’t. Respectfully, just fuck off."
34.“I once had a guy whose first message to me was, ‘wanna shit on my chest?'”
— uranium / sharkweekiseveryweek
35.Similarly…"‘I bet your farts taste delicious.'"
— u / hiswifenotyours
36.“Dude started with, ‘I want to wear your skin.’ And I unmatched immediately.”
— atomic number 92 / strawberryyogurt _
37.“That I look like Nicolas Cage, lol.”
— u / kxyrt
38.And finally, we’ll end on one with a happy ending: “My first message to my wife was ‘great rack.’ I was drunk and just messaging tons of girls ‘great rack’ or similar messages, and I had no intention of ever meeting her. She came back with ‘thanks, I grew them all by myself,’ and I responded while sober the next morning.”
" She ended up being very coolheaded , very blistering , very bright . We went on a date to an trash emollient place , and I knew I was get to marry her at the conclusion of the first date . Been together nine years now . "
— u/407407407407407
Submissions have been edited for length / clarity .
