" I drive home so agile after work like I ’m late for the house . " — @Y2SHAF
Y’allllll…summer’s coming to a close. How we feelin' about it? Are you excited for some crunchy leaves, ready to leave behind the heat?
Shits funny until u realize it ’s September next Sunday
Well, you still have a few weeks to ponder the meaning of a season change until the official fall equinox arrives on Sept. 22. In the meantime, how about some laughs??? Twitter kept me thoroughlyyy entertained all week:
1.
did it hurt ? when you realised 2025 is just 4 calendar month away & you are still processing 2019 which is about to be more than half a 10 ago
2.
American culture funny asl mfs really say “ how you doing ” and walk off 💀
3.
My husband see us at the park and surprise me with a tumid iced coffee berry and I did n’t have the heart to tell him I just had a large iced coffee so now I ’m vibrating and going to piss myself
4.
u ever converge someone and u can tell they were hard involved on campus
5.
gabezopic.twitter.com/x1r7QOpUuA
6.
there ’s a carrousel in Harlem where they design the animals after children ’s draftsmanship and I need someone to check on this kidpic.twitter.com/fjpH09kyrb
7.
Imagine the pressure she was under crap that pasta to prove her innocence . believably felt like iron chef in therehttps://t.co/l3W1d065t8
8.
My son can not believe he graduated from kindergarten & he still got ta go back to school 😂 😂 😂 he thought that shit was over
9.
i was already mad then here add up a cybertruck pulling up near me just to micturate me off more
10.
i drive home so quick after work like i ’m previous for the firm
11.
Flight meeter sing about sorry to wake you , I look up everybody off the plane LMFAOOOOO
12.
we need an airline for people who know how to board and deboard a woodworking plane expeditiously
13.
my pappa keeps going live on facebook so i ask my mom what she thinks about it and she say “ idk i edit your father off facebook he ’s too vexatious ”
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16.
jesus … pic.twitter.com / hf47EPjd1x
17.
Protect me from who?https://t.co/64kBUMNYua
18.
I pace on a duad of leaves this morning and they crunched!!pic.twitter.com / tBa99btTiw
19.
scheduling my internship emails for 11:11 am just in typeface the hour is a girlie and needs a sign that i m him
20.
this is an advanced hopped-up thought , but i retrieve if my eyes were closed and kermit the frog walk into a elbow room i ’d be capable to pick up on his energy and just jazz he was there .
21.
somebody flirting with you while at work genuinely feels like you are a hostage like omg pls go ride down
22.
i did n’t go to the dental practitioner for 8 years and i finally survive only for them to tell me my tooth are dandy and good for you . that ’s so fucked . i should have had to see a lesson . i should have had to lose at least one tooth or something
23.
boy the tooth doctor surely loves taking X - rays . always require more picture of my skull for her minuscule files . she is sooooo taken up
24.
There ’s a short projection of Steve Harvey over Atlanta right now and I have no clue whypic.twitter.com/r3Z7Vnua6 t
25.
Just had to spell the word “ bourgeoisie ” while sharing my screen . Jesus Christ
26.
christian is such a funny name when you guess about it . what if I name my kid atheist
27.
The linesman they sent is wearing waist - high pants.pic.twitter.com/TtVxVmndcN
28.
Asked my coworker what ’s wrong & he said “ I ’m tired of misrepresent that I like you guys ” & frankly ? Mood .
29.
https://t.co/3IH0fpojB3pic.twitter.com/gsnppAZ2VH
30.
the purest example of " good american values " is when the diner makes too much milkshake and gives you the extra in a metal cup on the side
31.
show old french masses how to make s’mores and when the graham cracker went on top they said “ sandwich 😳 🤯 ‼️ ”
32.
I beg your finest blinking pardon?https://t.co / evViIiBvXq
33.
" chat " is aboveboard a perfect collective noun . A girl in class said " chat I ask a pen " and she got a pen . leisurely . unbelievable . This is a good one , Thomas Kid .
34.
Today I went to the banking company and require if they had an cash machine . The bozo sound out they had a drive thru . I said oh I walk here . He say that ’s fine . I had to wait in line behind a car like this 🧍🏻 ♀ ️
35.
this radical of old masses just jaywalked with me and when we made it to the other side one of the Guy goes “ we ’re so brave ”
36.
I hired a nanny on the sims 2 to take care of my CHAOTIC TWINS and she lookin at me thru the silver screen like HELL NO 😂 pic.twitter.com/8pcqFuLxnX
37.
dad posted that i was going to law schooltime and his booster answer “ another prevaricator in the making”pic.twitter.com/ppy7wbma5Q
For more funny tweets, check out our most recent roundups (and don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow if they made you laugh!):
I Apologize To My Apartment neighbor Because I ’ve Been Cackling In My Room Wayyy Too heavily All Week Thanks To These Funny Tweets
29 Hilarious Tweets From Another Verrryyy Funny Week
