Imagine treat with these masses all Clarence Day long .
Not long ago, I made apostabout dumb customers and the dumb things they’ve said.
1.“Back when I worked clothing retail: at one store the mercy tags were marked SML, MED, LRG, XL for sizes…had multiple people ask if SML was one size fits all like small, medium, and large combined.”
2.“I once had a customer ask the difference between an 84 inch curtain and 95 inch curtain. When I replied with 11 inches, she looked back at me and said, would that be a noticeable difference?”
3.“I had a guy ask me what films were showing at a film festival and I pointed to the schedule. He then yells at me says “Does it look like I read?” And then proceeds to read notes on his iPhone.”
4.“I got asked ‘Is the cold brew hot?'”
5.“Had a woman ask where our “scent sauce” was. She was talking about perfume.”
6.“I worked in a bakery and I had someone ask me what the difference was between a carrot bar and a pumpkin bar!”
7.“I worked as a tour guide at a cave in Arizona. We would frequently get calls asking if the cave was indoors.”
8.“I used to work at Victoria’s Secret and I had a customer try to return the underwear she was currently wearing. Like WTF.”
9.“I work the service desk at Walmart and a woman returned a watermelon because there was too much water in it.”
10.“Overheard at a Baskin Robbins when a woman was buying an ice-cream cake for her daughter’s birthday: “How long do I put this in the oven?”
11.“I worked in a museum one summer and had a guest argue with me saying Narwhals aren’t real, at an exhibit on Narwhals. Like we just made up a mammal for the fun of it 🤷♀️ WTF.”
12.“A customer once argued with me about strawberry yogurt. She swore that strawberry yogurt should NOT be pink… it should be white.”
13.“At my first barista job: Me: would you like your coffee hot, iced, or blended? Them: what’s the difference? Happened multiple times a week.”
14.“Work at a pet store. Have been asked if the frozen solid feeder mice come back to life when thawed.”
15.“I worked at a grocery store when I was 15 as a bagger, and I was bagging this lady’s stuff and trying to be polite/friendly and as I bagged her sweet potatoes I said “Oh I love sweet potatoes,” and she complained to my manager that I was talking about her groceries 🙃.”
16.“Someone seriously asked: ‘So, your sandbags, what’s in them?'”
17.“Personal favorite - the customer was trying to return USED tire chains because “the snow had melted,” so they were no longer needed. On every package was a sticker over the opening that said, “not returnable if opened.” The customer thought we should do the return since they brought the sticker and kept it in one piece. When we said it was a safety issue as snow chains are safety equipment, the customer offered to include a note in the box stating that they worked great. Ended up having to call the police to remove her from the store as she kept screaming as loud as possible that we HAD to do her return.”
18.“Encounters I’ve had (I work at a railway station): ‘How long does a two hour ticket last?’ ‘How much does a $2.50 ticket cost?’ ‘Why can’t I use a Sunday saver ticket today?’ Because it’s Tuesday. ‘I got here at 6:14, and the 6:08 train had left’, yeah, it’s called the 6:08 for a reason.”
19.“This was years ago and I’ll never forget it. I was working at a frame shop. We had a sale. You get 60% off custom framing if you choose the store brand frame. Or you get 40% off custom framing if you choose a frame from the other vendors. I had a customer actually ask me if she could combine the discounts. I told her I’m sorry I can’t give you a 100% discount. She argued with me, and even when I did the math with her, she still didn’t understand. She left in a huff.”
20.“I worked at Sears Hardware, one customer wanted to know if we sold tools and another wanted to return a spray paint can cause it didn’t have enough pant to finish a project.”
21.“I’m looking for a book, and it’s blue or red,” was the most common question when I worked at a bookstore in high school. Multiple people asked this question daily, and it was never the same book they were looking for.”
22.“Working at Niagara Falls, I’ve had people genuinely ask me what time we turn the Falls off at night.”
23.“My brother used to work at Best Buy and on Thanksgiving, he had a customer start yelling at him for being open on Thanksgiving and forcing her to leave her family dinner to go shopping.”
24.“Customer orders a bottle of wine. 15 minutes into drinking it, waves me over. “I don’t want to make a big deal of it, but this wine is expired.” “Oh, I’m sorry- is it corked?” “Huh? No….we were just studying the bottle and it says 2010. We get it, mistakes happen… but this is really old.” And they were dead serious.”
25.“I worked at a Subway in college. Someone asked: ‘How long are your footlong sandwiches?'”
26.“My sister worked at a copy center and a customer wanted her to photocopy something he hadn’t brought with him.”
27.“Me, pushing a basket through the store with items I picked in it. Customer asks if I’m using the basket because they need it. No, I’m just pushing it for my health.”
28.“I used to work at Margaritaville where people would literally ask me if they served margaritas here.”
29.“When I worked in a clothes shop we would often get people trying to return clothes from other retail companies and then get mad at us because we wouldn’t just process the return as they had “gone out of their way” to bring it to us… This is a completely different company.”
30.“There was a woman who complained that her shoes rang up for $15 and she said it should have been $9 like the tag said. I had to explain to her that the 9 on the tag was the shoe size, not the price.”
31.“I used to work at the oceanfront, on the pier, in a gift shop called Beach Pier Gift Shop. I would have people come in and ask me where the beach was (underneath us), where the ocean is (directly to the right), and where the pier was (we were standing on it), where the boardwalk was (had to cross it to get to the pier) and is this the gift shop. People are dumb.”
32.“Someone the other day: ‘Does the seafood linguini have seafood in it?'”
And, finally, to cleanse your palate, one funny story of an employee makin’ a little mistake:
33.“I was working my first job at a little movie theater, all kinds of stoned. I had to ask each person if they wanted ice in their drinks, because half the time, they’d say “no ice” once I’d already put it on the counter. Guy comes in, asks for a coke. I say, “Great. Do you want sprite?” He looks at me like I’m nuts.
“ No , I require Coke . ” I start getting sort of heart - rolly and thin-skinned . “ But do you want SPRITE ? ” Now he kind of begin to sudate , like , what is actually wrong with this girl ? “ No ! I want a COKE . ” I take a gravid breath , and essentially shout , “ I KNOW you want COKE , BUT DO YOU WANT SPRITE ? ? ! ! ” And I finally see myself , and I ’m wish , oh my God , I ’m so sorry , I ’m assay to say “ internal-combustion engine . ”
— Sally W , Facebook
