I am Delaware .
For some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen on the weekend. Here are some funny ones that recently came across my timeline.
If you wish these tweet , make certain to give these users a follow for more funny content !
1.
My job is forcing us to have a meeting about what is causing our burnout and I put this in the schmoose : pic.twitter.com/1VxLZqhJ4u
2.
Had a salad for dinner last night and blueberries for breakfast this morningpic.twitter.com/t6HKjeekIZ
3.
Y’all this is my dentist … lol??????????pic.twitter.com / Mn5hKDuxc3
4.
Me when I spy a delicious pie cooling on a windowsillpic.twitter.com/xWutGexW6I
5.
“ may cause drowsiness”pic.twitter.com/TE0jI5G7Qr
6.
weird to mention his wealth but happy for themhttps://t.co/ycT9KHUJpW
7.
i ’ve been say this for years.https://t.co/ZhFVbNndc3
8.
spent $ 300 on emergency vet just for them to tell me he fundamentally was acting weird for attentionpic.twitter.com/vRp3WSMxC8
9.
accidentally said “ I need a redbull and a cigarette ” around a significant womanhood at the pool and she looked wistfully into the water and say to herself “ … Redbull … .. and a cigarette :( “
10.
even god himself is start in on brat summerhttps://t.co/5OfXXdpW9F
11.
one time i asked the guy i was dating at the meter if he would still sleep with me if i was a worm and he say ' no but i would ramp up u a terrarium and make certain ur secure and also so u could see the daughter i day of the month after :) ' and it get a huge fight lol
12.
( first mean solar day as a pilot ) the what pit
13.
We just leave my family reunification and my husband said in such a chipper voice " I was really well comport so we ’re gon na go ahead and lay off to get me a kickshaw on the way home . “pic.twitter.com/3zk3BBR1tc
14.
If I was told told to recall my Olympic medal….yeah certain I ’d give it back….but I ’d be on the plane before they realize it ’s cake idgaf
15.
see literally any two men in a photo togetherpic.twitter.com/DQeOAyv3K9
16.
https://t.co/hVGYq6w9TTpic.twitter.com/Lw8i9WRedr
17.
her : my plant life just diedme tryna hit : pic.twitter.com / EQBiBigQfY
18.
my brother brought his Vietnamese lady friend over for dinner party why my mom gon say I have a go at it Panda Express out of nowhere omg I hate Mexicans
19.
When I ’m 3 drinks in and I see someone light a cigarettepic.twitter.com/qey0gucwOc
20.
Gandalf : Keep it secret , keep it dependable . Frodo : pic.twitter.com / VAFjoeJXl5
21.
ME neglect ALL the requirements : https://t.co / fsvDyhrunRpic.twitter.com / VNQxw8qkP6
22.
When someone distinguish me the bar has been raise and they believe in mepic.twitter.com/TRU416N2uq
23.
lastly replied to 3 people that I ’ve been ignoring for no reason and this is how it feltpic.twitter.com/3oNA4Bq3qe
24.
best for the past pair of weekshttps://t.co/F30tT8gRPypic.twitter.com/Ihd6JdhKXv
25.
my hound on the lawn 30 seconds after i ’ve terminate bathing himpic.twitter.com/A5aqxIbV3H
26.
me intoxicated walking out the clubhouse and up to the food truckpic.twitter.com/LhPVmfZvXZ
27.
now what the hell is this bob … pic.twitter.com / hLgA6S30Ifhttps://t.co / w6E8sndSa3
28.
Me sleeping with no dinner party cus I had a scrap with my family.pic.twitter.com/wlxFILveIq
29.
if i was a stay at home hubby i would sit by the front room access and whimper until my wife returned
30.
accidentally just opened my front camera . we persist grateful for personality
