" when I say I do n’t tope anymore that means shots . cocktails and bubbly are just part of being a young woman . “—@CELE6RITY
August is chugging along, and Kamala Harris has officially pickedTim Walzas herVP running mate. Still a little sad she didn’t do it this way, but alas:
It would be sooo fun if Kamala started soft launching her VP pick on insta report with like a hand on the tabular array at luncheon
Anyway, here are the funniest tweets by women this week. Enjoy!
( check that to travel along all these funny ma’am on Twitter ! )
1.
Why does every single day be $ 300
2.
My child say she want to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around allege “ where are my glasses ? ! ” I feel attacked
3.
live girls get me hot too is my favorite part of maidhood
4.
If my anxiety was lower I could go for a walk to lower my anxiety
5.
hurt is so silly like wow something upset me so badly as a child that it has warped my entire perception of life every day following it ? ? ? ur telling me my brain ca n’t realize it was n’t my fault and survive a normal life now ? ? ? I bugger off ta be haunted by it eternally ? ? ? ? ? ?
6.
Imagine your high school social studies instructor becomes the frailty Chief Executive
7.
“ Taco Bell is n’t even good ” Yeah I cognise . Sometimes the raccoon inside of me craves garbage . go forth me & my Crunchwrap alone
8.
I just know Tim Walz could teach me how to drive control stick chemise without seduce me exclaim once
9.
‘ I ’m in your metropolis ’ NOOOOOOOOOO ! ! ! !
10.
feel cute might dissociate later
11.
when I say I do n’t pledge anymore that means shots . cocktail and champagne are just part of being a girl .
12.
engagement idea : we go to urban outfitters and say stuff like ‘ that ’s really nice ’ followed by ‘ £ 80 for a jumper who do they think they are ’
13.
the only clock time i hate to see a bad bitch is at the thrift store
14.
Born to be in a two-piece with my bestie sip pina coladas on a beach , draw to text them like a lovesick obsessive ex instead
15.
[ me , a the great unwashed pleaser ] : “ no medico that ’s okay , whatever eccentric of blood you have is fine ”
16.
“ finally a day off”my twenty-four hours off : pic.twitter.com / ppJsBq1fav
17.
Twitter is healthy because its reading
18.
Oh you won a gold decoration at the Olympics ? My watch just congratulated me for standing up
19.
Sitting in air conditioning makes me a beneficial person .
20.
Our medical organization is like yeah this is serious and should be treated immediately see you in 10 month .
21.
if you dislike salt and vinegar chips it think you lack bravery and strength of character
22.
bald world panic about the markets … my bozo you ’re worried about the incorrect recession
23.
texting every man I know “ hey what ’s going on with the gunstock securities industry ? ” as a little goody for them
24.
I love saying ‘ drab I ’m out of it today ’ as if there has been a day in the past tense fucking five years I ’ve been in it
Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
23 Funny Tweets By Women That Made Me , A Fellow Woman , Laugh So Hard I Got A Stomach Cramp
