Wow , they must have reeeeeally loved these mass .
1.
" move to the museum on a date and she was laughing when we got to the dinosaur osseous tissue . I asked what was so suspicious , and she confidently enunciate that dinosaurs never survive . She thought they did n’t exist because she had hear them in toon so they could n’t mayhap be actual . She was 22 . "
— juliam4984bfacb
2.
" My ex - young man back in in high spirits school thought that when a woman had her monthly cycle , it was gamey liquid like how they portray it in the commercial for feminine products . Could n’t get out of that human relationship tight enough ! "
— anonymous
3.
" My husband and I were looking for a new auto . I wanted a regular railcar , and he wanted a convertible . It was 74 degrees outside and cheery , and he got frantic at me for opening the sunroof in my car . The sun was burning his face , he enjoin . We did not purchase a sofa bed . "
4.
" I told him my safe booster and I were planning a trip to Australia . After distinguish him how long the flights would be , he said , ' You guys do n’t desire to drive there ? ' We live in Canada . "
5.
" My ex and I had a big conflict over doll being mammals . It was tardy at night , and she was insisting because she ' used to be a nautical life scientist major ' that bird are mammalian because they are lovesome - blooded . I make out they were lovesome - blooded , but I had to get up out of seam and use dial - up internet to try out they had their own class : BIRDS . "
— charliemcinnis
6.
" He did n’t know what toes were . I thought I had break the quaternary toe on my foot . He ask to see it , and I exhibit him that it was spite and swollen . He then pronounce , ' I thought you said you hurt your toe ? ' I channelize again at the discolored toe and said , ' Yes , this one . ' He star at it and then back at me and tell , ' I thought only the self-aggrandizing ones were toes … '
To this daytime , I do n’t screw what he thought the other thing on the end of his human foot were . Maybe it had just never come about to him to ask ? Or maybe he thought of them as shoat . "
7.
" My ex-wife - fiancé think woman just walk around with Milk River in their titty , willy - nilly . "
— huroennisa
8.
" My ex and I were catch kittenish , when he suddenly yank upright and exclaimed , ' Oh my god , I felt a lump ! '
My teat . He mat my teat , and thought it was a cancerous lump . "
— buttfarts7000
9.
" We were lead to smoke weed , and he order he had a vaporizer . This humankind pulls out a HUMIDIFIER and proceed to put the weed in the basin for H2O and is confused about how to reverse it on to get the Mary Jane … "
10.
" I ’m a male . My date want to know when I was on my period so that we could have gender and she would not get pregnant . She was over 25 years honest-to-god . "
11.
" A friend introduced me to one of her roommates , and we off it off really well . I went to pick her up to go to a concert a few weeks into our family relationship , and she was still getting ready , so her roommates allow me in . They were all smiling and kind of titter when I walk in , and there was a unusual flavor in the air . After a few minutes of small talk , her roommate ( my booster ) could n’t hold back any longer and walk me to the kitchen to show me something . I looked at the stove to see a plastic bowl melted to the burner . My date had taste to make macintosh and cheese ( unsupervised ) on the stove using a plastic bowl to hot up the water … "
12.
" I go out this little girl who work in a grocery computer storage . She told me she asked a customer from Pennsylvania if it is true that there are lamia in Pennsylvania . "
13.
" We were fooling around , whole dressed , and he dry - humped me . Again , fully habilitate . We stopped , and he go home . Two day later , he came over crying , worried queasy . I asked what was going on . He wanted to take me to a doctor to substantiate my pregnancy for what ' he did to me . ' Again , we were to the full fit out only two days prior . Also , we were college sophomores . "
14.
" Guy ask me to a commencement ceremony party . I had mono at the metre . After the party , he pulled off the route and leaned over to buss me . I again allege that I have infectious mononucleosis . His response : ' kiss cures mono . ' What ? ! "
15.
" She was induce a debate with an employee and finally said , ' Vietnam is n’t a COUNTRY , it ’s a WAR . ' "
16.
" When Charles Whitman put mass slaying using rifle atop the clock tower of the University of Texas in 1966 , my then GF said , ' They should blackball towers ! ' Not hit man ; tugboat . 🤷 🏻 ♂ ️ "
17.
" I was dating a lady in her mid - XX , and we decide to go to the Metro Zoo with four generation of woman from her fellowship . It was my girlfriend , her female parent , her grandmother , and her daughter ( 7 ) . The zoological garden was having a major showing of dinosaur . Since I had already seen the presentation , I decided to check out the reptile marquee , and we would meet back in an hour . When I touch them , they were not well-chosen . I call for what was haywire . The three sr. ones , in unison , said , ' What a waste of time ; it is just a caboodle of skeletal system . ' To which I replied , ' The last dinosaur on ground has been nonextant for at least 65 million class . ' To which the female parent reply , ' Well , they should have countenance us hump it was only going to be a cluster of bone instead of real dinosaurs . ' Uh , ya . "
18.
" I was cook rice , and my ex-wife - husband ask how the Elmer Rice multiplies . I asked what he meant . He thought the Elmer Leopold Rice multiplied to fill up the pot . Litany of reason why he is an ex-husband . "
19.
" While living on the East Coast , I had a lunch date with a New Yorker who was the incarnation of the famous New Yorker magazine cover about a New York resident ’s idea of US geography . When I told him I was from Minnesota , he pause for a import and postulate , ' Does Minnesota have a seacoast ? '
After spend a few seconds in seismic disturbance at his ignorance , I said , ' Not in this geological era . ' "
— karens19
20.
" A guy I had been dating was staying over at my property a brace of day a week when I remark that every day he made goner , he would pick up the entire toaster and carry it across my large kitchen to plug it in and use there . After watch over this on several occasion , I ask him why he was doing this . He respond that he was motivate the toaster nigher to the loaf of lettuce . I was vex for a minute , then involve him if he call up it might be a shade easier to take the bread to the wassailer . The blank stare was all I take to back slowly away from this Einstein . "
21.
" First day of the month with a girl , and before we get to the restaurant , she mentions she ’s vegetarian . No trouble , I chose a station that function a great deal of choice . We pose down , and she orders a steak . I asked her to clarify if she was vegetarian . She read , ' Yes , but this is from the sum factory , so it ’s OK . ' This was decennary before the whole Impossible Meat delirium . The waitress face at me and tell to me , ' I do n’t think she ’s go to work out for us , sister . ' act along , I say , ' Prob not . ' The girl got crazy and left , so I got to enjoy a nice steak with the waitress on her prison-breaking , who I later married . "
