" I sleep - eat sometimes after taking my Ambien . I come alive up one morning and check the cat nutrient bowl with a spoonful in it . Empty . My computerized axial tomography was really broken with me . "
Recently Reddit useru/DaSGuardiansasked"What secret have you kept from everyone?"
The secrets people shared left me either giggling or speechless. Here’s what they confessed:
1.“I spilled beer on a wedding dance floor. The groom’s aunt slipped and broke her leg.”
— u / Minge516
2.“My mother had an ongoing secret affair with the guy I was dating in my 20s (while I was dating him). I’m 60 now. Nobody else knows. It still hurts she would do that to me.”
— u / lizzietnz
3.“I make music under a fake identity, and I’m approaching 400K monthly listeners on Spotify. None of my friends know, not even my kids.”
— atomic number 92 / flounderjaw
4.“I’m a cash-for-life winner. I took the annuity to fund retirement in the near future. $1K a week for life!”
— u / Existing_Leg_5329
5.“I won second place at my work’s annual chili competition using a bunch of cups of Wendy’s chili that I put in a crockpot.”
— uranium / emarquis
6.“The kids have been eating regular Cheerios for years. Maybe five years now out of the same Honey Nut Cheerios box, lol.”
— uranium / I_agreeordisagree
7.“I sleep-eat sometimes after taking my Ambien. I woke up one morning and saw the cat food bowl with a spoon in it. Empty. My cat was really upset with me.”
— u / Uncle - Rob-115
8.“In the pre-Keurig days, we had a ‘coffee club’ at the office. A group of us coffee addicts would take turns buying coffee for the communal coffee maker. I got annoyed with the club, so I slowly started swapping out some of the regular grounds with decaf. After 2-3 weeks, it would be 90% decaf. I’d keep it there for another week or two, then swap it all out with 100% regular coffee and watch everyone get all geeked up when it kicked in. And after a week or so, start the cycle again.”
— u / FlukeStarbucker1972
9.“I’m a published author but don’t want friends and family reading my writing. It’s for strangers only!”
— u / Key - Control7348
10.“I tell everyone I don’t want to get married (I’ve been with the love of my life for four years now), but the reality is my partner’s been fighting a divorce case for over seven years, which is why we cannot marry.”
— u / Whiskey - logic
11.“I have given myself two names so I can keep my sex and party life a secret from my family and friends I grew up with. If they knew about ‘Alex,’ they’d never look at me the same way.”
— u / Qdorf88
12.“Although I love my son and will always do the best I can for him, I wish I weren’t a mother. If I could go back, I would’ve never had him. Again, nothing against him. He is a bright kid.I realized pretty much immediately after giving birth to him that I don’t want to be a mother. Besides here, anonymously, I will take this to my grave. I want him to believe that he was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
— ACpony12
13.“When I was in middle school me and some friends decided to do a ‘small’ prank. We started a rumor (that didn’t harm or destroy anybody’s life), it got out, and it spread like wildfire. Everybody talked about it, and our small-town local news wrote about it. It went on for a year or so.”
— uranium / Tall_Mall_1579
14.“I once stole money out of my friend’s wallet.”
— u / Individual - Celery888
15.“I fake an accent at work because it gets me more tips.”
— u / Alternative_Tree_699
16.“I fixed the election for my high school’s prom queen decades ago.”
— u / biaggio
17.And finally, “I don’t plan to tell my husband about the amount of money I’ll be getting from the lawsuit involving me getting into an accident with a semi-truck. When it happened, my husband wasn’t the most supportive person, as I was having trouble coping emotionally. He said I was exaggerating the aftermath, and I never forgot that.”
— u / Cautious - Optimist333
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity :
