erotic love is something else .
Recently Reddit userballofsunshine12asked women of the AskWomen subreddit community, “How’s life aftergetting married?”
Welp, they didn’t hold anything back, and confessed what marriage is truly like after getting married. There are many ups, downs, and everything in between, giving folks full insight into how the relationship evolves.
So, here’s what life is like after getting married according to women:
mention : This office contains subjects of domestic maltreatment and mental sickness . Please move with caution .
1.“We’ve been married for 19 years, and it’s quite miserable now. The first decade was great — the ‘newness’ of the marriage and kids coming into the picture. It was great until it wasn’t. We had three kids under the age of five, and he was in the army. It was very hard for me to be able to prioritize EVERYONE. As a wife and a mom, we want to make sure everyone gets taken care of, but you get burnt out. When you’re home with the kids, by the end of the day, you give what you have left to your spouse. I didn’t have much left at the end of the day.”
" He was medically put out from the army by chance and abruptly . I worried about money and lodging . He was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder — I centre on the wrong things .
He sputter to detect a caper — due to red ink of identity operator , I look at it as ' laziness . ' He did n’t pass on with me . I got a Book of Job , and while open myself to the caper , kid , and what was left to him , I neglected myself . The thing I did were never appreciated .
He shit on my salary because his VA stay was bigger than my paycheck ( even though it was n’t enough for our family ) . Resentments were make on both conclusion , and things spiraled from there .
I did the best that I could with what I had , which , in hindsight , was n’t much . We function back and forth on the idea of divorce ( neither of us actually wanted it or did anything about it ) . Then , he became distant .
Last year , he told me he was log Z’s with someone else . He arrogate it was n’t cheating because we agreed to divorce . But nothing was filed , and he was still living at plate . He ’s still with that woman , and I moved out two month ago .
If I ’ve learned anything , it ’s to intercommunicate and understand what your married person is saying and to prioritize yourself . you could not give your right to anyone ifyouare not at your best .
— u / That_Bluebird2477
2.“It was perfect until we had fertility issues. As a result, he has gone backward with his maturity levels and wants to act like an early-twenties guy who has no responsibility and can do as he pleases. So, yeah, we’ve been married for six years and together for 17.”
— atomic number 92 / FitAd8822
3.“Married for seven years, no kids. We don’t have as much sex as we did during our first two years of marriage, but we still respect and love each other very much. I’d say we definitely became more mature. We still give each other plenty of personal time for our hobbies. Theonlydownside I’d say is somehow I became obsessed with housework and less interested in my career, and he spends more time on video games. I don’t resent it, though, just a bit of regret we aren’t career try-hards anymore like we used to be.”
— u / PatientNumber007
" Woah , same experience with the career ! We were both career try - hards , and I was exceedingly ambitious . Now , I ’ve taken less interest group in my calling and am leaning more hard on more ' traditional ' wife and housekeeping duties , and I love that , tbh . He is have a severe time with it because he tell me one of the thing he loved about me was my ambition … eeeek . "
— atomic number 92 / Adventurous_Bird_505
4.“I’d say our relationship has gotten worse since I was pregnant with my first child. It wasn’t until I was trapped that I fully realized that my husband wasn’t supportive of me. He is supportive of his own family and would choose them over me in a heartbeat. This created resentment on my end, and in turn, I don’t feel close to him like I used to. I now know where I stand with him, and I don’t really see us much as a family unit anymore because of the way he acts. It’s his family vs. me.”
" Also , if it were n’t for me coming up with things to do outside of the home , I do n’t guess we ’d ever go anywhere .
I ’m also the ' default parent . ' I take our girl places , do her bedtime routine , and read to her to help her develop language . I ’m not having a with child time with him , but it is what it is at the minute . "
— uranium / Responsible_Web_7578
5.“We fought a lot right after we got married. We were young, still figuring ourselves and each other out. But soon, we calmed down, learned to understand each other, and picked our battles. We’ve been together for over a decade now, and I couldn’t be happier. I feel very fortunate to have someone in my life who perhaps knows me better than myself and puts me above himself.”
— u / robotjyanai
6.“We’ve been together for eight years and married for two — we don’t have kids, and it’s awesome. I have a real partner. We’ve settled into a nice routine that works for us. We’re still madly in love. We’re looking at a second home abroad right now and hoping to retire early so we can keep having adventures together.”
" I do see a lot of unhappiness in my champion ’ wedding , though . There are a great deal of variance in labor and responsibility . I have four friends in the thick of divorce , and one seriously considering it . Some gentleman’s gentleman reckon it derive from nowhere , but for years , I ’ve heard how they do n’t take their ploughshare of the household duties / childcare and how untempting that make them .
My in effect friend is totter on the edge , and my married man keep convert her to go back ( he and the husband arebest friends ) . I keep assure her to leave and be happy . If this has taught me anything , it ’s less of import who you marry and way more important who you have kids with .
The champion without kids who is getting divorced is surely lamentable / distraught , but they ’re not squander thousands of dollar on kinfolk attorney . What a fix . "
— u / judithpoint
7.“I got married at 19, and I’m now 51. I’ve been with him since I was 14 years old. We had our first kid at 19, our second at 22, and then our third at 25. I’ve never really thought about how it is or isn’t, tbh. We even work together driving road trains. We do everything together, and nothing is an issue.”
— u / Gold - Impact-4939
" It ’s so adorable to get wind that people have been together for a recollective clip ! I ’d say it ’s reasonably uncommon nowadays 😌 . "
— u / BritAsiangirl06
8.“I was married for over 20 years and had regrets within days and really should have quietly had it annulled. He was dishonest about who he was and turned into a completely different person as soon as we got married. It just got worse from there. It was me putting out fires, me doing most and eventually all of the housework, solving crisis after crisis he created, watching our bank account get drained over and over while he blew through money drinking and buying hobby crap we couldn’t afford. I finally divorced him when our kids were over 18, so they didn’t become pawns in all of this. They have both disowned him.”
— uranium / whoinvitedthesepeopl
9."[He started abusing me after our honeymoon]. I left. It’s the weirdest thing ever. A lot of people say things don’t change, but with someone who already has red flags or things you think they’ll grow out of with age, those things get way worse after marriage."
— u / SometimesImmortal
10.“We’ve been together 12 years in December — my husband is the best man I’ve ever met, and even that assessment is an understatement. He loves laughing, and he’s quick to smile. We go on little adventures frequently, and he understands when my health can’t hold out. He doesn’t pressure me to do anything that sucks — he doesn’t pressure me to do anything EVER. If there’s a disagreement, we have a conversation, and we both become happier.”
" He ’s literally had to take attention of me . After my mammy break , my 26 - year - old hubby , who had never experienced even a single end in his family , bundled me up and drove me to my doctor because I stopped hire with life . They chose to tranquillize me until the antidepressant could begin to work on .
This man bath me , fed me what footling he could get me to eat , and drive me around in the coldness of winter until I cried myself to catch some Z’s .
When my doctor told me last year I had major heart impairment , I gave up — but my husband did n’t . I ’m on the path to being well , and he ’s the reason for it — anything my doctor tells us to do , he jumps in and say , ' We can do this ! '
When I say he ’s brave , it ’s not only the truth but an action he chooses every sidereal day of his living for us .
He ’s also implausibly handsome , has a beautiful grin and spokesperson , and heed fervently to any chamber asking . Getting get married work out splendidly for me . "
— uracil / skyedot94
11.“We dated for three months and have been married for 15 years. Life has been extremely hard at times. I’ve developed severe depression over the past few years (from child loss back in 2021). I’ve had several miscarriages in the past and had a stillborn birth in 2011. So it’s been hell for us. I will say that being with my husband has made me very grateful and happy. I’m very grateful that even though I’m not the same person he married 15 years ago, he still chooses me every day. Every time we go out on adate night, I love holding arms with him because I’m very flattered to be his wife.”
— u / Classic - Giraffe-3812
12.“It’s been amazing. We’ve been married for two years, together for seven, and best friends for 11. We both work from home, have the same friend group, have the same hobbies, and I still wish we had more time in the day together. We both feel more secure since getting married, politically speaking (we’re lesbians, and my wife isn’t from the country we live in). While I’ve had several significant family losses since we got married, her family has consistently reminded me that I’m part of theirs as well. My marriage really makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world.”
— atomic number 92 / AYearOfSaturdays
13.“We’ve been married for 20 years. We were both in our thirties when we met; neither had ex-spouses or kids. We have one child now, and she will be off to college this fall. My husband is a great spouse and dad. Our daughter told us we set the bar very high for what a marriage should be — life is good.”
— u / likestotraveltoo
14.“Why do I have to do more than him? Why do I have to work but also take care of the mental load and kids and house? And answer ridiculous questions all day long? I love who I married, but gosh, sometimes I just don’t want to be ‘in charge.’ When I was single, I had so much more headspace and freedom.”
— uranium / lc3ls3y
15.“I’ve been with my husband for 13 years, married for two, and have two very young children. Marriage changed nothing. Getting the wedding over and done with was a huge relief. My anxiety over the day of (in the midst of COVID and having potential cancellations, etc.) was so much. I was so happy when it was done, and we could go back to ‘normal.'”
" Children were the game changer . Nothing tests your family relationship quite like kid . For whatever reasonableness there seems to be a substantial amount of men who do n’t play an equal role in their partnership . But my married man is top - tier .
Children were a examination for us , but we ’ve become better at communicate because of them . We ’re in the thick of it now , and hopefully , as the twelvemonth go by , we get stronger and stronger . "
— u / karpeva
16.And finally, “I thought it was fantastic until he secretly started to debate with himself whether he wanted to be with me or not, and he full-on fucked someone else. I sacrificed to be where I am because it meant being with him. I regret them all. Now I’m stuck with him until I can unfuck myself in this cold area. I don’t recommend [getting married].”
— u / aesthesia1
Note : Some submissions have been blue-pencil for distance and/or clarity .
