" We refer to our first marriages as our ' exercise marriage ceremony ' and know we were meant to be , but would n’t be who we are today without having gone through the unconscious process to get here . "
Weaskedmembers of theBuzzFeed Communitywho found love after divorce to share their stories. They opened up about love, loss, and redemption, which was very touching. Here’s what they revealed:
1.“I first met him during my first year of college. While we only met up a few times, we shared the same sense of humor. He was seeing someone else, whom he later married. Fast forward 33 years later, we’re both divorced, and he looked me up. A long-distance friendship ensued, but there were sparks. After a year of emails and talking on the phone, we went skiing together and fell fast for each other. We got engaged nine months later and married six months after that. We just celebrated our 14th anniversary! He is my best friend, my everything, and my most supportive, helpful partner. We laugh together every day.”
— Anonymous
2.“I was in a 16-year marriage that, from the outside, looked perfect. Inside, we lived as roommates with zero contact, affection, or intimacy for nearly 14 years. I realized that things wouldn’t change during a Thanksgiving trip. I didn’t know how the end would unfold, but I knew it would. One year later, I went to my 30th high school reunion, the only one I’d ever attended, and got an electric side hug from a classmate. Three weeks later, I invited him to dinner, and we closed the restaurant, sharing our life stories. I told him the darkest secrets I’d held onto since I was a child, and he held my hand across the table as I bawled my eyes out and said, ‘I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t change it, but I’m here now.'”
" Within week , I knew this man was my call to activeness . I talk to my husband and explained that we both merit to be meet and our son needed both parents to be glad and goodish . Fast forward : We ’ve been together for almost nine years and are grateful we cut across path . Our lives are filled with locomotion , retirement goals , dynamic conversation , peachy mania , and laughter every single day . "
3.“After 15 years of my husband having repeated online affairs, I found myself a single mom of two with a wounded self-esteem and a vow to focus on my kids. Fast forward to my youngest daughter’s senior year of high school, and the guy I dated very briefly in college who was ‘the good guy’ (vs. the ‘bad boy’ I chose instead) reconnected with me on Facebook. We had similar stories of love and loss, and I instantly hit it off. When he came to visit me, I was head over heels immediately. We dated for two years, long distance, and got married during the worst part of the pandemic, both in our 50s. Since then, we’ve buried two of our parents, graduated three of our kids, and can’t wait to see what life holds for us. We refer to our first marriages as our ‘practice marriages’ and know we were meant to be, but wouldn’t be who we are today without having gone through the process to get here.”
4.“I was with my ex-husband for eight years. Just three months before our fifth wedding anniversary, I found out he was cheating. I was heartbroken. I went to my mother’s house, where she made homemade hot chocolate for me every day because I couldn’t eat for two weeks. After it all ended and we divorced, I wanted to date again. I could not let that man be the love of my life. I’m grateful for him. I learned a lot, but he just couldn’t be ‘it’ for me. After some dates and a couple of short-lived relationships, I met ‘it.’ We dated for nine months, and then he dumped me. I was sad but not devastated. We remained friends, and then one night, 10 months after we broke up, we were honest about how we felt, and there was no one else. I’m so happy we found each other and then found each other once more. I consider his love a privilege. He worships the ground I walk on.”
5.“I finally found the courage to divorce my violent, abusive ex-wife after years and years of absolute misery. I never thought I’d regain my confidence to start dating again, but little by little, it returned. I reconnected with an old colleague from back in Saint Petersburg who’d moved to the UK for her job, and we realized we were perfect for each other. Three years later, we’re married, and she’s been fantastic at helping me work through the aftermath of abuse. My only regret is that I allowed the violence to go on for so long that I simply had no idea who I was anymore. I sometimes miss the old me, the confident, go-getting, and happy me I was before that decade of misery.”
— mitrofannorris
6.“I split from my ex after 16 years of marriage, right before COVID hit. I stayed single on purpose for a year and didn’t date a ton after that. But then I met HIM, the kind, sweet, caring man who felt like home the first time we cuddled. We were engaged less than three months after meeting. He moved in a week later, and we married five months later. That was all almost three years ago. I love him even more now. Not only is he the love of my life, but he’s also truly my best friend. I can’t imagine life without his sweet presence.”
— jessherr
7.“I married my first husband when I was 25. He had two beautiful children who were 9 and 11, and I adored them. He was emotionally abusive, could not keep a job, and was unfaithful. I stayed with him for five years, largely because I loved my stepkids. Two years in, we had a daughter together. I finally decided I was teaching my kids to stay in a toxic relationship and divorced him. My stepdaughter was 16 and wanted to stay with me. At the last minute, he let her. I thought I would be single and just raise my girls. A year after my divorce, my stepson, who was now 15, came to live with me. It was tough as a single mom, but again, it was so much better than a toxic marriage.”
" At about the two - twelvemonth post - divorce mark , a friend ’s hubby test to fix me up . His married woman nixed it . Six month afterwards , she tried fixing me with the same hombre . I inquire why she had a variety of eye . She said she had gotten to know him and thought he was great . I am a plus - size woman , and no one ever fixes me up with anyone . As a undivided mama , they put me in the driver ’s seat . They gave me his number . I called , and we speak a lot before we met . He was adorable . When we at last fit , I panic and did n’t call for a few weeks . I kept remember about him and finally ring again . We wed five month later and have been married for 25 age .
He is my best supporter . Everyone loves him . He has been a grand dad ( I espouse my stepkids when they each turn 18 ) , and he even assume my immature . Everyone bang him . He is easier going than me by far ! We have so much fun together . I still think back in repugnance : What if I had never call in him back ? He has been the greatest gift ever for someone who mean she ’d be individual forever ( and was ok with it ) . "
— melissayvonnemarklew
8.“I found true love 37 years later. We dated briefly in high school. Due to a misunderstanding that wasn’t clarified, we went our separate ways. We married the wrong people. When we met again, it was like coming home. Many of our friends and family didn’t get it (due to one ex being a massive narcissist), and subsequently, we had to drop them. We are happily married six years later, and our only regret is that we didn’t find each other sooner.”
9.“I was married at age 20, had two kids, and finally left my ex after almost 17 years of marriage. In hindsight, I probably should’ve left about a decade earlier. I left knowing I would be happier AND less lonely as a single mom. I dated a bit after the divorce and then decided to be done with dating. All the good ones were taken, or so I thought. I returned to being happily single, enjoying my kids, friends, and family. And then, completely out of nowhere, I randomly met the most incredible guy at a friend’s wedding. We’ve been inseparable ever since. He is 100% the love of my life. He’s my person. We often talk about how we wish we had met earlier in life, but honestly, I don’t think we were who we needed to be when we were younger.”
" The versions of ourselves that we brought into our relationship are exactly who we needed to be . We are playful and silly but also maturate and can have deep , philosophical conversation . Our communicating skills are on point , and we truly want what is best for each other and support each other . He is my adequate better half in every elbow room , and he never address me as less than for being a woman , for having tactual sensation , or for struggle with anxiety . We apprize each other AND the family relationship we ’ve built because we ’ve both feel frightening relationship , so we have it off how special what we have is . "
10.“I got married for the first time at 29, but from the moment I said ‘I do,’ I knew it was a mistake. After three years and a cross-country move, I finally left my husband. He was a nice guy, but not the right one for me. Returning to my hometown, I had no intention of dating again. I was dealing with serious health issues and underwent a full hysterectomy at 32. I figured I would be single forever. Then, three months after my surgery, I met my now-husband at a beer and tequila festival. The moment I saw him, I knew he was the one. Just over a year later, we spontaneously got married on a night out (we live in Las Vegas), and we’ve been happily in love ever since. Next month, we celebrate our fifth anniversary.”
11.“I got married too quickly and too young (19). It was a military marriage — the kind they warn you about. Not long after we were married, he became abusive. Not long after that, he cheated on me. As a military spouse, I stuck around. I was across the country from my family with no means to support myself. I didn’t know how to leave. Finally, it became too much. I called my parents, and they arranged a plane ticket home. I left my now-ex at 24 with nothing but a suitcase and started over. I lived with my parents and got a job waiting tables. There, I met the man I’m married to now (and forever). I guess I should say I re-met him.”
" He was the untried brother of my childhood best admirer all grow up . I really examine to baulk my attractive force to him because of the history there . His mom had been my Girl Scout drawing card , and his baby had been my ripe ally . He win me over , though . He was everything my ex was n’t : patient , tolerant , and jazz . We started date stamp and speedily fall in love .
We did n’t have a penny to our names , but it did n’t matter . He eventually leave the restaurant job to go to school , and I continued act to support us . Then , he catch a job in his career field , and we began work up our sprightliness together . We were married two old age after we started dating . Two twelvemonth after that , our first son was bear . Then , eight years after , we had our 2d son and dispatch our family .
I ’m a remain - at - home mom now , and he furnish a beautiful life story for us . More significantly , though , he is my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me . Our days are filled with laugh and love . It ’s not leisurely to believe again after ill-usage and infidelity , but he has shown me longanimity and sympathy and given me space to heal . hump him is the easiest affair in the world to do , and I mean to do it for the rest of my life . "
12.“I can’t even begin to describe how amazing life has been since my husband of five years left. At the time, I was devastated because his decision to leave was completely out of the blue for me. When I say this man was the epitome of selfishness, I’m not exaggerating. He dwindled away our money, never prioritized me, and used his mental illnesses to manipulate me. I feel like he truly catfished me because he wasn’t at all like that before we were married. In hindsight, I realize he uses people, anyone and everyone, to get what he wants, and once he gets it, he splits. I was no different. He was the one who wanted a divorce, but if I hadn’t gone to him with the papers, we would still be legally married. After a while, my friends encouraged me to go on Bumble. I was so against it since the last time I was single, dating apps didn’t exist, and I had no idea how to navigate them.”
" A month after the divorce was finalized and over a yr since we separated , I had my second - ever appointment . I first met him on Bumble , and we talked for six hours on our first face - to - face date . Our next date was nine hours . When I say he is the most thoughtful , kind , loving gentleman , I ’m not magnify ! I always feared becoming so accustomed to the worst that the stripped lower limit would sway me , but this mankind work above and beyond in every fashion imaginable .
I had to give up everything when my ex-wife go out . When I moved back to my parent ’s family , I had no money or dwelling house and had to give up all my animals . But since then , I have saved enough money to buy my first home and am thrive financially . The most important lesson I learned was to prioritise myself . I see so much from being with the incorrect somebody . It made me become the right person for myself . I believe it had to hap that way so the right person for me could come along . Honestly , now I genuinely finger love the path you ’re supposed to feel it . I knew what it was like to love , but now I know what it ’s like to be loved . "
13.“I left my emotionally abusive ex-husband in January 2020, after 23 years of marriage. A year or so later, everything was opening back up after the pandemic, and I felt ready to date again. I tried several of the apps but had no luck. My first boyfriend from high school never married, so I thought he might like to be friends and hang out. He has no online presence, so I slid into his best friend’s DMs and left my number. He called a couple of weeks later. We hung out for a month or so as friends, and then one night, out of the blue, he told me he loved me.”
" That was three eld ago ; today , we are more in love than ever . If you had told me that the idle , heedless boy who was my first osculation would farm into such a thoughtful , loving , generous , untiring , supportive partner , I would n’t have conceive it . I rue all the time we missed . But we have three true cat we adore , and we ’re look forward to spend the rest of our lives together . "
— absepa
14.“When I was 23, I moved back to the small town I grew up in to live with my boyfriend of a year+. We were not high school sweethearts by any means. He was older, and we had met through mutual friends. He had purchased his first house and asked me to move in shortly after. I agreed with the understanding that after a trial run of living together, we’d eventually either get married or merge finances to make the home ‘ours’ instead of ‘his.’ Needless to say, it took years for us to get married. He had every excuse in the book for why we shouldn’t.”
" After getting married , he still decline to put me on the house and mortgage despite me being the primary breadwinner and having give him ' rip ' that paid down his mortgage . He also refused to make me his hand brake striking at work and would n’t make me the beneficiary of his pension or biography insurance , claiming that despite being married , he did n’t know if we ’d ' puzzle out out long - term . ' He say he require to ' protect his assets . ' I eventually found out it was because he was cheating and had done other shady thing during our relationship .
I impress out , file for divorcement , and never looked back . Less than six months after filing for divorce , I met my now - married man , who I have been with for four age . He project 18 month into dating , and we were splice less than a year later . We ’ve now been together five class and are expecting our first child . A reliable lesson is that if someone present you who they are , you should believe them and get out of there ! Your ' person ' should not treat you like garbage or , in my case , like a money box write up . "
15.And: “I met my current husband in seventh grade, and the first time I saw him, I knew he was ‘the one,’ as cheesy as that sounds for a seventh grader. We became friends and had a solid friend group who hung out often. Our mutual friends would always tell me, ‘Jon has a crush on you!’ and I’d say, ‘Well, why doesn’t he ask me out?’ I ended up dating a few of his friends in high school, waiting for him, but he never asked. He left school early and went to work in South America for a few months. When he returned, I went to his house, and his mom told me, ‘I told him you’re not going to wait around forever for him!’ A few months later, I left for college out of state, and he joined the Marine Corps. The first week of college, I met my first husband, and wow, what a toxic relationship! But I was lonely and young and thought it was love.”
" We got engaged at 19 and return to my hometown for Christmas falling out . At my parent ’s home , someone knocked on the door . I open it , and my first thought was , ' Holy cow , who is this hot Marine fend here ? ' Jon was stand up there in his dress blues . Once I realized it was Jon , I thought , ' Thank God I do n’t have to wed Derek now ! ' He had add up to tell me he was leave for Iraq in a few days . He gave me his email , and I sent him one , but he never replied , so I rifle ahead with the married couple to Derek . I got married at 20 , had my Word at 21 , and divorced at 22 .
I had moved back home and was pass to a summer session at a local community college . I produce home from year , and there was a motorcycle in the driveway , and I reckon , ' Who is here on a bike ? ' I take the air in , and Jon place upright in the kitchen spill the beans to my dad ! I had n’t hear from him in four years ! We spent hours talking that night and went on our first official date two sidereal day after . I call my best friend after and told her I was exit to marry him . She laughed and assure me I was ridiculous . We got engaged four month later on and married two months after that . We ’ve now been married for 14 years , and he is 100 % my good friend . I am so proud of the life we ’ve establish . "
Note : Submissions have been cut for length and/or clarity .
