" booze a ton of pee , the babe will float & assuage the pain . "
We wererecentlytalking about the silliest things our SO’s had ever said, and people were eager to share more stories. So, here are 14 more dumb things we’ve heard people seriously say.
1.“When I was pregnant with our first, I developed sciatica due to the baby’s pressure. My dear sweet husband said, ‘Drink a ton of water, the baby will float & alleviate the pain’.”
— lisas4acaa73e0
2.“My boyfriend thought that periods only lasted for one day and that every uterus-haver in the world had their periods on the same day.”
— francescao3
3.“My fiancé once asked me if chicken soup was vegetarian. He also recently asked me if I thought our internet was running slow because the window next to the router was open so all the internet might be escaping. Thank god he’s pretty.”
— supership28
4.“My ex argued with me about the phrase ‘It’s 5:00 somewhere.’ He said it didn’t make any sense that it was ‘5:00 somewhere, because some places are ahead by x and half hours, so no it’s not 5:00.'”
" OK , yes , there are some place that are x and half hours ahead ( India , for example ) but that does n’t preclude that place from being 5:00 twice a day . Also , when it ’s 4:00 in Chicago , it ’s 5:00 inNew York , and New York is somewhere , so yes , it is 5:00 somewhere . I care I had been able to explain all that to him , but I was too dumbfounded by his stupidity . "
— minervamcgonogall
5.“She thought doughnuts were the best hangover cure because they ‘absorb all of the alcohol in your stomach’. I was like… ‘okaaaaaaay’.”
— jmacxjr
6.“My grandmother tried to convince my brother and I that cows would explode if you didn’t milk them. Brother and I looked at each other with a ‘wtf did she just say?’ look and all I could think to say was ‘wouldn’t there be bloody fields everywhere? And what happened to you when you stopped breastfeeding??'”
— hollybear85
7.“Back in college, I told my then-boyfriend about the way I’d almost humiliated myself that day by getting ready to yell at a guy in the snack bar who had been staring at me for my whole lunch, when the guy gets up and walks off with the assistance of a red and white cane. My boyfriend said something along the lines of how the guy was ‘obviously’ faking being blind. ‘Beg pardon?’, ‘Well, think about it,’ he says slowly and patiently, like I’m the ignoramus in the room: ‘What’s a blind guy doing in college?…'”
— annab4fef789d4
8.“Omg I just remembered this one: I had just gotten my wisdom teeth extracted and I couldn’t eat the food I had already bought. So I asked my then-husband to go and get me some baby food. This fucking bitch brought me back a canister of Similac y’all.”
— certified_drapetomaniac
9.“That one time my ex-MIL screamed at me for not rewinding a dvd rental.”
10.“The first time my husband saw me make gravy, he freaked out. ‘My mom never made gravy that way!’ and I kept explaining to him that gravy is gravy, there’s pretty much only one way to make it (I didn’t want to confuse him with different thickening agents like cornstarch).”
" He prevent insisting his ma never did it that way and just refused to eat gravy . When we were visiting his parents , he blithely run through his ma ’s gravy , so I asked her how she made it . She fundamentally reprise the way I make mine and my husband was shocked . He also did n’t eat her gravy anymore . I solved it by buying jarred pan gravy from the store . He has no problem with that . I reckon he just does n’t want to know what ’s go on behind the kitchen threshold . "
— pahz
11.“College roommate, a biomedical engineering major with a very high GPA, gave her credit card info to a man on the street who claimed to be a voice acting agent and said he could get her parts in animated movies.”
— skiinggnat
12.“When he pronounced it: Canoe Reeves.”
— daisyswierc
13.“My boyfriend is an aerospace engineer. He thought ponies were baby horses. And that human babies are born with the eyes closed like kittens and puppies. He’s in his forties.”
— rowannae
14.“When I was young I thought women stuck sanitary towels onto themselves. Tampons were like a glue stick that you used to make it sticky. Yes I was an idiot.”
— copperghoul948
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