" Sometimes , you must break up to remember why you should be together . "
Weaskedmembers of theBuzzFeed Communitywho have successfully gotten back with an ex and lived happily ever after to share their stories. Here’s what people revealed:
1.“We met in church youth group in 1986 and started dating the next year. He was my first boyfriend and my first kiss. We dated off and on for about six years but couldn’t really figure out how to make it work, so we eventually drifted apart. I met someone else and got married a few years later, and then we divorced in 2020. After the pandemic, I was looking for someone to hang out with. I knew my first love was still single, so I slid into his best friend’s DMs and left him my number. He called a couple of weeks later, and we were back together within a month. That was three years ago, and things just keep getting better.”
" That waste , reckless boy who would n’t conciliate down with me in our former 20s raise into the most thoughtful , supportive , generous , hardworking valet de chambre I ’ve ever known . We ’re both in our mid-50s now and having a blast making up for lost time ! "
— absepa
2.“My wife and I separated for a little over a year after about four years of marriage. She stayed in California, and I moved back to Maine (where I was living when I met her on a work assignment in CA). We both saw other people at that time, and the divorce proceedings began. But when it came time for me to sign the final papers, my hand started shaking, and I realized that the divorce would be the biggest regret of my life. I called off the divorce, we reconciled, and we have been married for over 20 years. We still went through some ups and downs after we reconciled, but we’re in a great place now, and I thank my lucky stars that I did NOT sign the papers that day. I would have regretted the divorce for the rest of my life.”
— Anonymous
3.“My husband and I have been together since 2003. He is the other half of my heart. He is my home, and I knew it the moment I met him. I even had trouble remembering how to say my name when we were introduced. He proposed in 2006, but life is not a rom-com. Because of a brief, disastrous, and young first marriage, I was a commitment-phobe. I told him we were committed to each other and didn’t need a piece of paper to declare it, yada yada yada. I also had issues related to an alcohol-abusing and absent father, and I was terrified to end up as a miserable cliché or statistic.”
" Long story brusk , he booze , and I did n’t . His drinking progressed over the years , and I told him many time that I could love him just as well from afar as I could up nigh and personal . I told him I would not ascertain him destruct himself , us , or myself with his drinking . He was welcome to do it on his own , but I would n’t stick around and watch . I in all likelihood waited too long , but I had my baggage and did my practiced . We broke up in May 2010 , and it took him six weeks to start getting himself clean after I get out . It was a battle for him , and I support him in every way and always will .
We reconcile in January 2011 , at last got hitch in July 2012 , and have not had an issue with his drinking ( or really anything else ) ever since . I love him still more than anything in the world , but I loved myself more and have a go at it that if I did n’t walk away , my forged fears would occur true . He differentiate me that had I not left him , he might not have ever stop tope on his own . I ’m just happy neither of us has to wonder what if . "
4.“We met when we were 16. He was my trainer at a fast food restaurant where I was hired. We had a big group of mutual friends, so we saw each other outside of work. He was a great guy and funny. I liked him immediately. We started dating a few months after we met, but he broke it off because he was moving to a different province. After a year, he moved back to the city where we met, and we dated again for a couple of months. He broke it off again because we were young, and he wasn’t ready to be serious with anyone. My strong feelings were too much for him. I removed myself from any occasion that would mean we would run into each other, but I saw him at a funeral, and all the feelings came back.”
" I resist to allow myself to see him as more than just a friend . I was on the threshold of dating someone else ( also a acquaintance from a disjoined group ) when my work friends organized a night out for my twentieth birthday . He ask if it would be o.k. if he come out with us . I said yes , certain that we were intend to be just friends . We were standing closely together a couple of time of day into the dark , and he made me laugh really hard . He care me a happy natal day and kissed me . We just celebrated our 31st wedding party anniversary . "
— bluehero265
5.“When I was 20, I needed a place to live and ended up moving into a house my friend was renting. I (female) moved into a house with three guys. I ended up dating one of my roommates for the duration of the lease. I was 20, he was 23. He wanted marriage, kids, the whole deal, for life. I really wasn’t ready. I was in college and knew I had so much life to live before settling down. He was heartbroken and moved states away. When I was 22, I met the most incredible man, and we ended up having the most incredible, adventurous, polyamorous relationship for the next 10 years. We got married in Vegas by ‘Elvis’ and eventually had one kid together.”
" Last year , our love became buried under life emphasis . We loved each other so deeply , but we decided to separate . After 12 age of no contact , I touch that former roomie / boyfriend . We instantly connected again . Within a calendar month , he moved back to the province I was in , and we ’ve been living together . We had an implausibly vivid , loving , and awful human relationship and picked up powerful where we left off over a decade prior . The kicker ? We agree that we have sex each other and have absolutely no sorrow , but he is about to move back out of state and do amazing things with his spirit .
As for me ? Having time asunder to unbury our love life from biography , my married man and I learned how much we really take account each other and are back together , stiff than ever .
We have absolutely no regrets . Each journeying , each human relationship , and each geological period was an incredible experience and equally as important . It ’s awesome where love can take you . "
— rollerskates
6.“We first got together when I was 20 and he was 21. We were both in community college and knew we wanted to marry after we graduated and had steady jobs. I transferred to a four-year university in another city within a year, but he visited often, and we made it work. I was about to graduate with my undergrad at 23 when he was approved to transfer to a four-year university several hours away. We toured the campus and looked at apartments, agreeing we would move in together since the timing worked out perfectly. He got cold feet about it and broke up with me. He began thinking about how we’d both be poor for a while and spiraled into thinking our struggles would last forever and that we’d never be happy, so we might as well end it. He worried we couldn’t afford to start a family (he was studying education) and knew how much I wanted to be a mom.”
" I was devastated . I had no clew what to do with my aliveness and was beyond heartbroken . A month subsequently , he contact me and excuse why he panicked . He said he realized that he had given up before we even started . We sat down at a cafe and had a long talk . He begged for my forgiveness and promised to conjoin me and start a family as we had initially planned . We determine to get back together and move in together a month later . It conduct a good twelvemonth to forgive him truly , but we were able to move past it . Living together did have its ups and Down financially . I was a breadwinner and often the only one working full - time while he was in shoal . It was arduous at clip but well worth it .
We ’re in our 30s and have been together for a decade , seven of those years after we catch back together . He has a with child teaching positioning and is projected to earn six figures in a few years , after which we will start render for a baby . He recently pop the question , and we will be getting married next twelvemonth . I ’m so felicitous we decided to get back together . A great deal of my syndicate member were hesitating , see how ache I was when we separated , but they have since follow around . At the end of the day , you must opt each other , even when animation throws you curveballs . Love and hard workplace can whelm awe and uncertainty . "
7.“I was with my ex (same age) from 17 to 24. We split mostly because he was an immature 24, and I wanted to be doing grown-up things. We parted amicably. Within two years, he got married and had a kid. We lost touch. I met a new guy at 26 and had a kid of my own. The new guy turned out to be even less grown. Go figure, lol. Apparently, I had a type, so I decided to get off that track, stay single, and put my best into raising my boy. Fast forward to 48. My original ex, who I hadn’t spoken to in 24 years, sent me a message on Instagram. We chatted briefly, but I got tired of typing, so I gave him my number and asked him to call. We talked all night. We haven’t gone 24 hours without speaking or messaging since then. He was divorced, and I wasn’t seeing anyone. He’s still fun to be around but also a responsible adult. I couldn’t say no to that! We got married 18 months later and are celebrating our fifth anniversary soon.”
8.“My husband and I dated when we were in high school. At the time, our thoughts/values on marriage didn’t align, and we ended up breaking up when we got to college. We stayed friends for years; he was one of my best friends. We both ended up in serious relationships for six years. We decided to stop speaking to each other because we felt it wasn’t fair to our current partners and went silent for about a year. Within the course of that year, both relationships ended. We ran into each other a few months later, and we’ve been together ever since. Over a decade and two beautiful kids later.”
9.“I came out late in life and dated someone eight years younger who started as a good friend. After about a year, we broke up and dated other people, but we both knew we wanted to be together. After another year of growth for both of us and an absence that made our hearts grow fonder, we reconnected. This year is our fifth wedding anniversary. Sometimes, you must break up to remember why you should be together.”
— booklover32685
10.“My husband and I met over 20 years ago on our first day of college. We worked in the same office for our scholarship job. We instantly hit it off, became best friends, dated off and on, and were really into each other. Being in our late teens and early 20s, we had a lot of growing, learning, and self-exploration ahead of us, so we remained friends but romantically drifted apart. He and I eventually married other people, and both of those relationships met swift ends. Several years later, while living in different cities, we reconnected and haven’t looked back. We’re 11 years strong, have a lovely child and a wonderful life, and are just as in love with each other as we were 23 years ago. I love our story almost as much as I love him.”
11.“We met and started dating in 2010. I had never met anyone like him, and we clicked right away. Unfortunately, I was still in the ‘must be married and have kids before 30’ mindset, which was terrible for my mental health. He wasn’t thinking about marriage yet. Needless to say, we weren’t on the same page and broke up. We call that small stint ‘the dark time.’ We dated other people, went about our lives, and decided we were both miserable. When we got back together, my expectations for my life were completely different. Timeline didn’t matter as long as he was the person I got to be with.”
" We got back together around ( Canadian ) Thanksgiving and were engaged by New Year ’s . We got married in 2013 on the third anniversary of our first day of the month . Our oldest was born in 2014 . We ’ve been married for 11 years , together for 14 , and had another baby nearly three years ago . "
— rakishrogue
12.And: “We dated for about two years, on and off, while he was depressed and dealing with an alcohol addiction and severe BPD. He dumped me on New Year’s Eve because I was crying since he promised not to drink but did anyway and promised to watch a movie with me, but he didn’t. Somehow, four months later, he changed. He got cleaned up, went to therapy, started meds, and took responsibility for everything. Obviously, I wasn’t so easily convinced, but that was about three years ago, and we’ve been married for six months. He’s the same sweet, kind, thoughtful person he was when we started dating, but without all the a-hole and douchey qualities.”
" I do n’t know what chance . peradventure his frontal lobe developed ? I do n’t wish talking about it because I do n’t need girls staying with douchebags hop they ’ll change . Of my whole family and all my Quaker , my spouse is the only one that did commute . The lesson of the story : Sometimes , a separation is the only way to fix things . Either they ’ll change , and you ’ll be okay , or they wo n’t , and you ’ll be better off without them . It will be fine ! "
Note : submission have been edited for duration and/or clearness .
